things have been good lately
the party 2 days ago went well and there was way too much food..
but hey, at least that's better than having too little food!
headed down to the old changi hospital after dinner and loads of guitar playing and coaching at the new flat
16th year of my life, i have not yet seen a real ghoul.
8 of us went and we only had 2 small torches and 3 candles (candles ?)
it is an irony because the wild dogs we bumped into were much scarier than what we hoped to see....
man.. i don't think i have ever been that terrified in my whole life!
there were flights of stairs we went down, thinking that they were going to lead to the basement of that building and instead, they led us out into the open road.
took a few pictures there (.....) and then tada
we saw the dogs and they barked like nobody's business we screamed then scrambled back up the stairs almost had to climb on each other to get away because everybody was moving too slowly and the last thing on our mind was where to hide ourselves.........
luckily the dogs did not give full chase. :P
it's hilarious, just thinking about the incident.
by the time we finished *touring* the unlocked buildings it was already 4 in the morning
took a cab home and we were still game for that hut near my place (in punggol)
there was also nothing in there. just space.
and uh, pillars.
the rooms were super spacious though! and they had a building on itself which was the cooking area.
oh well
it was all insanely fun. Ü

nasehr : GO LARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

i'm andy cole's tortured sole lost out again in front of goal
i wish i had your cocaine confidence
some girls are easier on the eye

but could you take the silent lives
i wish i had your full on arrogance
but i'm a white witch mad bitch hooked on drugs
the jury's out, the lawyer shrugs

the angel on my shoulder falls asleep

do you believe in me
or are you leaving me?
do you believe in me.. or are you leaving me

i thought i was columbus
turns out antarctic scott
and i always ate my friends along the way

but don't ask about the reasons
nor reason with my aims
the closer you'll appear.... the less i'll say.

do you believe in me? or are you leaving me
do you believe in me.. or are you leaving me.

silent fool.
but give me time and i might prove
i could do anything i choose.

i'm andy cole's tortured soul lost out again in front of goal
i wish i had your cocaine confidence.
but i'm a white witch mad bitch hooked on drugs
the jury's out the lawyer shrugs
and all the wine you had just left me sober.

do you believe in me
or are you leaving me?
do you believe in me, or are you leaving me.

drink puts the angel on my shoulder to sleep

you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

i painted the back of my hp cover
can't wait to get my hands on the canvas after os

some adults are just so narrow minded

try discussing issues with them
they give you one whole chapter of Why Your Point Of View Is Not Right
and one whole book of The Whys and Hows Of My Point Of View

say it is pointless for the discussion to go on
they take insult to that.

safeguard me from falling into the gripping clutches of adulthoodmindedness

in 10 days i will be 16

fuck.

sands of time
slip my fingers through
so used to you
y0ur silver laced face

it is so easy. come, succumb to my silent rage.

went for a run
it was really something for a change
cold fresh air against face and breathing magnified in the silence
a sudden blur of trees branches reaching in and out of the realm
yep it was that serene.
now that i've gotten past the stage of dragging myself out of bed
it's gonna be difficult not to create a habit outta this
i think i'm ready to prepare for school now
actually i was supposed to be revising for my physix paper but i thought
ah what the heck
how does one study with beaddds of perspiration running down the forehead? :P

wow bad karma

read this
it's good
very good...

13 more days
this is all too soon.....
when tomorrow comes i will think back and muse
Wow and to think i was 16 yesterday.
how is that possible?
how can that be possible
why, i cannot even imagine not being 16
and now to imagine myself thinking back and saying wow i was 16?
time is running out
soon i will be 16
then 20. 25. 30. 35. NOOoooooooooooooo..................
is it just death i am afraid of?
doesn't feel like it
sure i complain and whine to myself now and then
about how sucky things are
i love life
so many things to do so little time
i have big big dreams
and then questions of why how and what come flooding into the head
yet again.
is that why we are all here?
to look for the answers
what if i never find answers to all of my questions
what's the point then?
of living
what is it?
tell me
.
what happens to people who never got to fulfil dreams they held on so very tightly
dreams that saw them through life

and this brings tears to my eyes

Our distributor has informed us that this music title is currently out of stock. Please try again in about 3 months. We regret that the order has thus been cancelled. Thank you for your patronage.
Title: It's Hard To Find A Friend
Price: $21.99
Order#: 80859-1

pop goes the weasel.
i'm sleeeeeeeeeeeepy

didn't do much today (yesterday?)
woke up brushed teeth bathed ate lunch then went to the new house..
love my new room!! took a few shots of it.. i couldn't resist :P
and i'm just hoping that the other furnishes will not screw the whole thing up.
did some shopping with my mom and bought a skirt.. shampoo... facial foam.. etc etc etc
the next album i'm gonna place an order on...gotta be appleseed cast's............zz..z.z.zz....
i hear the train approaching
the train that takes us all to lala land

is this all just an infatuation?
tell me you feel the same way too...

these days i head home straight after school. no more long hours at burger king and wasting afternoons away... no more trying to decide how to spend time. it's time we hunt to spend ever since term 2 started.
yup that's how hectic our schedules are.
eh no. not hectic. wrong word.
we don't find excitement in work and revision. (duh)
prelims start next week and i've vowed again not to stray from my work.
gotta concentrate! and be consistent! and study! study! study! study! study! study! study!
reached home early today and felt super tired
plus the strain i feel in my right thigh and the aches of the lower back uh. the bruises i see on my knees and shins and elbow make me really wonder what i see in skating
closer friends in school all know that look on my face everytime i arrive
they know when i've been skating and when i have not been heh.
is this really a passion or am i just trying to prove myself?
that i will not give it all up when disruption tries its luck
of course i'd like to think of it not as the latter but i am still not sure.
kean told me about feeling aches in his joints

a sign of getting old he said

or is it just the skating (and falling ?) he has done?
*shrug*
but he is only 22.
i thought about something new today
while i was just sitting down on the bed after tossing bag on the ground.
do people only reflect after a year has gone by?
...'reflection of my past year'
then comes
...'new year resolutions'
where did all these come from? certainly it doesn't mean reflection can only be done after a year has passed.
how about doing it at the end of everyday? or everytime we take a bath
i don't know but i think my thoughts become clearer (or cleaner!?) whenever i bathe
do people really not bother thinking though these things?
like if they've went against their own conscience, principles or will
whether if they've said something senseless or insensitive that could have made the other person feel like fuck for the rest of the day. and probably made that other person have that notch of hatred for the human race risen as well.
little things like that.
i know I do.
maybe that is why i drift so far sometimes in school
because one question leads to another

her soft oval face, her eyes shone so ever brightly.
filled with tears, looked up to me.
she poised the inevitable question i knew i had to hear one day.
i am not ready to answer.
"tell me, please, would you? tell me if they they even care."

gonna take a bath now
then stop by at borders and check whether if the kurt cobain journal is out
before going to the dentist again
get a change of bands for my braces
and head for sam's place

i'd better hurry!
it smells and feels like a storm is heading right for me

haha nooo they did not pay me to do this.
you think they should start? :P
i bought the blueberry one!
the beesssssssssssstttt cheeeeesecaaaaake i've ever eaten man......... who can resist sara lee's cakes? :P~~
erm okay maybe those who do not take cakes.
or cheese.
i love cheese!!!!!!!! ! ! ! !!! !!! ! ! !
:) :) :)

i just remembered...
i had a space dream this morning !
felt the weightlessness, was in a space suit and all!
but i was confined to the space craft. - -
my space suit was attached to the top of the craft with a thin tube..
i think i was trying to get outta the craft but this other person (i don't remember who) did not allow me to.
duh.
better luck next time :P

screwed up my eng prelim papers today
made the silliest mistakes
(and kean makes no sense ?)
celest reminded me that the papers are over so no use fretting over them... heh.
felt better! i'm okay now. i'm fine!
larlarlarlarlar.....
only prelims what ?
larlarlar.....
i've got bloody f&n mock exam tomorrow (in the midst of prelims?!?!?!!)
crazy teacher.

how now brown cowwwwwwwwww w ww w my english paperrrsssssssss

*silence*

...
..
.

come up to meet you
tell you i'm sorry
you don't know how lovely you are.

i had to find you
tell you i neeed you
tell you i set you apart.

tell me your secrets
and ask me your questions
oh let's go back to the start.

running in circles
coming in tales
heads on a science apart.

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame
for us to part..

nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be
this hard.
oh take me back to the start

i was just guessing
at numbers and figures
pulling your puzzles apart.

questions of science
science and progress
do not speak as loud as my heart.

tell me you love me
come back and haunt me
oh and i rush to the start

running in circles
chasing in tales
coming back as we are..

nobody said it was easy
ohhh it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it will be so hard.....

i'm going back to the start.

school starts again tomorrow
don't wanna go to schoooooooooooooooool
:(
school is a bore.
a bloody bore...
*snores*

summary of the day:
0800hrs
skate comp, pictures, dehydration, lunch with rain.
1400hrs
shopped, train ride home, sprayed some gold paint on skates, terrible headache, met sam.
1900hrs
bad luck, missed prize giving, somemore pictures, dinner, headache.
2130hrs
bus ride home, headache, rain, soaked in cold water, soothed.
2230hrs
rain, broken guitar string, headache, rain, screw peedy and max.

pictures will be uploaded as soon as i get my hands on the files

heard that this guy from school1 alpha platoon 4 at tekong committed suicide.

howwwwww could they do this?!!?!?!!?!?!??!??!?!?!??!!?!?!??!??!
they've taken yet another life
i hope all of them die a terrible death.


ALL !

i miss playing the guitar.
the string just had to break!
@#%$^%@$#%

eh... what a bore.
woke up bout an hour and half ago and i'm still feeling sleepy!
it's been another boring day.
grew somemore mold.
haha no.
just kidding!
*yawn*
did i mention how fascinated i am, by stars ?
stars...... the ones in the sky.
it's been really cloudy these few nights.

sometimes i look up to the brightest one up there and i wonder whether if anyone else is doing the same as i am.
wonder whether if they look up, also in search for some form of guide in life....

i want a telescope and a glass ceiling.
some comfort love warmth and assurance with cherries would be nice too...

wishful thinking ?

i wonder what other galaxies hold

loads of comfort love warmth and assurance with cherries ?

there is still so much to me and the world i have yet to know
this simple life led here in this simple city with its simple people is already wearing me down
should i even allow it?
questions unanswered with so many whys to ask
a terrible need to understand
the need to discover my cause.
hello?

give me the strength.
to go on

positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive.

no, i do not believe in god.

it's been a long (and boring) day
almost 5am now.
zillions of thoughts came and stayed the past 19hours i was awake.

"Being an agent for others he found easy: he felt immune from people anyway, watching them like they were through a window. Lying was easy too, as he didn't understand what truth was beyond what the naked eye took in. A dying animal caught in a gin trap, watched with intense curiousity, was nothing beyond what it was: a dying animal. Sometimes when he looked at these creatures afterwards he realised that they had been damaged, but he had no memory of how they came to be like that. He saw nothing wrong in this behaviour - it was merely an illustration of what he felt others did to him. Just as some people painted or wrote to express themselves, he destroyed things. But it took time to understand that this was his vocation.

The sad messiness of an interrupted life, the graphic evacuation of violent death, the aftermath of murder, all drew him until the scene stuck to his mind like glue, as though he had been waiting all his life to find himself in a room like this and for the discovery of such naked emotion. He needed passionately to know what could have caused this dark spill of violence, in such contrast to the bloodlessness of his own existence. He wanted to understand. He wanted to know the man who had done it and, above all, why.

He knew there was something still missing about himself and waited to discover what it was. He wondered if it mightn't connect with the sense of secrecy that pervaded his childhood, the time spent watching, waiting, hidden. He found what he was looking for in the clouded eye of a tortured man. The dumb, uncomprehending pain of the animals killed was replaced by a terrible sense of recognition in the eye of his beholder that he was facing his nemesis. Now and at the hour of death. He knew then that his destiny was destruction, killing people. Killing was something - the only thing, perhaps - he was very good at when it worked, it was accompanied by an insight so intense that it blinded in its revalation. Now and at the hour of our death. So lonely baby.

Nowhere else to go, except in deeper."

sometimes i can't see beautiful.
i need you to show me secrets
can you breathe?
so i can hear you.
say to me that
you're not leaving.
sad boy flies and comes down broken.
realise that i can't without you
cloudless blue
inside of your eyes.
it's so much clearer when i'm with you.
no where else is where i want to be.
and when you're gone
i'll always know where you are.
just think of me..
and you know that i will
think of you.

mmmmm.
had some problems with the blog earlier..
logged in and clark told me something about not being able to load my blog on a graphic browser but works fine on text browser?
my comment link has disappeared.
sent a complaint to the stupid blogheads and demanded an explanation.
it always happens.........
other blogs were loadable!

well anyway.
went for a movie (yesterday?)
lilo n stitch. it was good.. terrific. fabulous!
but one thing i almost could not stand was.
there was this bunch of girls seated right behind us and throughout the whole movie they went:
Oooooooooo he is so cuuuuuuuuuteeee!!!!!!!!!
or.
awwwwwwwwww so poooorr thinnnnnng!!!
... .. . ..
i don't know but i absolutely cannot fucking stand comments like these
they were overdoing it lah.
oh well..

met nasehr and schnyp
went for stammtisch at marche
walked about somemore
bought a rush of blood to the head!
was listening to the 4th track then i was like.. "okay i am definately getting this"
could not find finch's albums at borders though.
have not listened to the coldplay album yet.. will lap up the whole of it later during the ride to singapore poly :)

lunch with rain at sp
train ride with nasehr after programme
gonna be there by 0815
gotta be up by 0600
father's not giving me a lift.
i had better be sleeping soon... . . ..

blanket of clouds.

*yawn*

rain + finch's what it is to burn = pure bliss.

who am i kidding?
the world's fucked.
everybody's nuts.

damn tempted to just go....

i hate you all.
all of you.
screw you and fuck off.

but nooooo.
my head's telling me to do otherwise.

what's a girl like me to do?
change the world?

just ate some prunes and i feel better now.

bloody bastard.

was feeling cranky in the afternoon
so i got my ass off the chair (back here again...) and went down to marine terrace
met some guy and skated a little got some cuts and bruises still couldn't do a perfectly perfect mizuo (JUST YOU WAIT!) took the long route bus missed a few stops walked back to my stop sat down stared at the sky for a while went home bathed then tada!
here i am.
ahhhhhhhhhh headddddachhhhhhhhhhe

THERE IS NO DENIAL.
MUSIC BRINGS US ALL TOGETHER!

was at the alleyway revol. 2 mountbatten cc gig
and there was this very special moment...
when full pledged munkees started playing.
everyone. and i mean EVERYONE! everyone
the skins.. punks, kids with chuck taylors and black rimmed glasses.
started moving to the music!
maybe it was just the ska? refreshed their ears after all the hc and punk?
was sitting right at the back against the wall so i had a good view of the audience
heads were bobbing up and down.. some even started skanking
that did not only make me realise how much i missed ska

i felt this glow from within
maybe all is not lost
maybe there is still hope left for the human race after all.
:)

but i certainly have had enough hc for tonight..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
calv left earlier so chris n i just sat and stared/listened (and napped ?).
felt too much of a bum to get up and join the crowd in moshing.
felt terribly sleepy too.
imagine. hardcore bands + sleepiness? :P
almost impossible..................
but then again
*yawn*