made further changes to the layout
initially wanted the whole body to be centralised
but after some edits here and there i thought the huge date header looked pretty good with the rest
and for easier reading, the fonts made bigger...

larger than life attitude for the new year, anybody?


do you hear them cheering

cheering like it really mattered?

new layout done in 15 minutes!
well not exactly new... because it was just a change of background and colour scheme (which is barely there)
and the guitar you see was sketched with ink on paper... before getting scanned into the computer and edited and stuff :p
that in total took some time
so yeah not exactly 15 minutes either...

i've got 19 more drawings to go
it's this drawing holiday assignment we have...
20 on a4 paper with different medias of the same object
eg. one in ink, the other in charcoal, wax, paint etc.

and i'm feeling kinda lazy to draw 19 more guitars o.O

i love how this piece was enlarged when scanned in the computer
because you do not see every stroke the pen has made on paper as clearly as you can see here
and for the hundreds of strokes of ink
they created what is so simply called as just a sketch...

i found the descriptions of the certain products that they are selling at this certain webby pretty funny.


*religious ones who may take offense, do not click on link. :p

if you're wondering. . .
i actually played PEEKABOO with those kittens to get
them look like that.
loL

i have a few problems you guys might be able to help me with

when the modem's connected to the comp thru the ethernet opening at the back of the CPU... there had been no detection of new hardware or whatsoever.
but when i tried that using the USB port, i've got myself an internet connection
so does that mean my network card's faulty?
used PC Doctor on it and it said that it's functioning properly...
this happened after i unplugged the cable from the ethernet opening to try the USB thing

the last time i surfed using IE was yesterday evening
now i'm running on MOZILLA (the browser) because every single site i visited using IE has the PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED error even though my internet connection is working fine.
can't possibly uninstall IE can i... bill gates made it that winXP cannot run without IE.

if i'm sounding impossibly calm i'm just trying to keep my hands busy so as to prevent myself from tearing my hair out of the scalp...

oh yeah one last thing...
does anybody have an external HD to lend me?

merry, merry christmas!

not like I celebrate christmas but...
it's still an occasion
to have an excuse to be on holiday
have fun
and feel 'in season'

this year's christmas has been a special one...
...and hence that makes 24th/25th special dates

i mean, what beats spending a special occasion
with that special one? :)

i hope you guys had fun too!

the longest line.

you wouldn't believe this either.

what the hell were these people thinking? o.O

you wouldn't believe this, this, and this. -_-

no where left
where you can sing
and dance
and waste the night away...

stay with me
hanging around
in the lost and found

'bout 2 hours ago i was walking home when i saw 2 cats outside the gate to the lift looking kinda disturbed and worked up and when i walked into the lift there it was, the 3rd cat pacing about inside with anxious eyes fur all fluffed up purrrring like nobody's business rubbing itself against me for comfort all the way from the 1st storey to the 15th
(it because i didn't check if it's a male or a female)
then it followed me out of the lift and kept close at my heels

i would have invited it into the house in a heartbeat but no, certainly not when there's a parent in the house with a strong dislike for cats so i carried it in my arms and went back down to the 1st storey then placed it outside the other gate *sigh*

wonder what the deal was with those 3 cats

anyway there was another session today and i kinda wrecked both knees... landed on them on a lot of occasions cos i just couldn't land a proper 180 off the stupid launch ramp and so if you see me with no knees tomorrow cos they'll probably be all swelled up and stuff don't laugh okay?

friggin' ultrawheels knee guards didn't really help lessen the impact(s)
managed the rail a little on the funbox though... but that's definately a long overdue achievement.



missed him a whole lot today

i just finished alice sebold's The Lovely Bones

awfully sad and heart wrenching but it's also a very, very beautifully written novel.


listen: grandaddy - protected from the rain

SO stasis 6 came and went
6 consecutive years they've been doing this!!!
last year's one was held at substation as well
and the year before the last at NUS if i'm not mistaken
okay that's all i remember...

terrific line up... as usual... great bands... . . ... okay crowd :p
would have been much better if he was around buttttt
at least there were scuzz juzbum and his brother and a few others
so nevermind :p

the gig should have been held somewhere less crammed though
somewhere with more standing space
and meza virs' (a local symphonic death/black metal band just in case you are wondering) set was a real waste
lousy crowd (MOST of them were waiting for fishtank...)
and it was too too short a set.
they were missing a guitarist as well
so without the RAW ENERRRGYY it felt really weird watching them play

anywayyyyyyy
everybody go check out this ass rockin webby in a few days' time...
the full reviews and pictuurrres should be up by then :)

ears are still ringing...

*ring ring ring*

went a bit deaf after THE GATHERING
will go completely deaf one day if this carries on


does anybody know where to get RED EYELINERRRR?

*saturated dreams*





endless crowd of white




double explosion




a nice profile shot of lead voc. from meltGsnow by jay
edited by yours truly

5:35AM

it's raining like nobody's business right now


so many things in life to feel angry about...


and it's getting bright far too quickly

just in time for the season


got that off this site.
pretty cool drawings they have there

and the comic strips......
totally hilarious :p

deadbeat

was at the Gathering '03 yesterday... it was s'posed to start at 1pm so i woke up kinda early
andddd guess what? surprise surprise, the gig started an hour and 40 minutes later than the scheduled time...
so jay and i were just hanging around in club VIP til 920PM that night.
met quite a number of people too... talon kaze lif and ryan etc
the gig on the whole was okay...
'cept that the bass amplifier wasn't really in proper working condition and there were quite a few good bassists who played... such a waste for both me and them
then after that met celes and jayass (unrelated to the jay mentioned earlier...) at newton for supper walked down to far east plaza before splitting and we took a cab to pasir ris park.

the sky was kinda clear so there were like a zillionnn stars (and mosquito bites) to count
and we stayed up the whole night

i'm blogging for the sake of blogging right now because i can't possibly read a book cos i'd probably fall asleep or something and i've got a jamming session at 2pm later so i gotta stay awake until it is time to leave the house and that's in about 2 hours' time

*snoRe*

maybe i should just go play yahoo pool

Your soul is bound to the White Rose:
The Pure.




"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."

The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.

As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


got that off darryl's blog
thought it was rather beautiful

got awoken by a dream around 4 this morning
it's just weird how dreams can induce emotions you'd never imagine to feel while in a conscious state
and what i felt was a terribly overwhelming sense of sorrow
the kind of sorrow you get upon the realisation of how some relationships/feelings/people will never be the same again
because what was lost is gone forever and there is no way of getting things to be how they were before

so i was just sitting there at the edge of my bed staring into dark space thinking about the past
and about the dream of course... how i had to walk away and leave him there like that
it probably doesn't apply to him alone but to everybody whom i've lost a bond/relationship with
passer bys of my life
passer bys i regret having to let go

listening to sherene's closet helped me drift back to sleep and provided some kind of cold comfort though

*sigh*


losing focus in our eyes...chasing memories down the hole

forget about the previous post and the URL...
think the file got removed cos of rights or bandwidth probs or something like that
oh well....

blah... got a BIT freaked out upon watching this

here's something on the advert:


This advertisement is very popular in HK because most of the people saw something extra in it.
When the director of the ad reviewed it at midnight one day, he discovered there is 1 extra kid right at the back of the supposed 6 children filmed playing the game. Soon, the kid who was held by the shoulders was dead. The ad was stopped broadcasting immediately but a lot of people were already talking about it. Around the 25th-27th sec, the last person is a fat boy, his shoulders were held by a girl who kept her head down (girl with 2 pony tails).
When the kids' faces are shot close up, you can see the girl who had her head down. You must watch it very carefully because the shot lasts for only 1 second. At the last scene, the fat boy is at the end of the line, but where is the girl??


was at the dining table in front of a huge mirror reading and eating the usual biscuits and jam just a few minutes ago when the ad ran through my head and i got kinda paranoid so now i'm back in my room and decided to blog about it :p

-result of restlessness-

times like these i just wanna stick my head into a bucket of acid

bass was revived today!
by a very kind soul at sweelee who gave no charge for his services...
seemed like the bass had a screw which was very loose in it o.O
nevertheless...
hooray for its revival! :D

oh yes... forgot to mention
my bass died yesterday
how sad is that.
haiz...

so many issues
feminism
capitalism
anarchy
patriarchy
socialism
orientalism
patriotism
colonialism
so many problems
depletion
abuse
over population
consumption
degrade
commercialisation
starvation
unequality
so many factors
principles
conscience
humanity
karma
soul
beliefs
tradition
religion
ideologies
media
government
society
big talk
more words
little action
no action
to be enlightened
in the light
cleansed

like you're undeserving of a breathing space
couldn't care less


words
and more words

>>so you're saying it's perfectly alright to be stupid because the other people around you are stupid as well?


listen : mogwai - take me somewhere nice

this week i'm on time...
friday fiVe!

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
airy? as in... there's a lottt of breezes these days


2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
UN EMPLOYED and broke.
i mean i'm unemployed and broke, not my employer...


3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.
hmm... loud, quiet and aggressive :p


4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
lazy slow musical dusty


5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
full fun rich lived-up andddddd... hmmm.
simple :)

find the beauty within

i guess my mom got kinda upset when she *realised* that i didn't attend the o lvl math examinations i re applied for
gave her a straight No when she asked to confirm...
couldn't explain why not though so i didn't

feeling a little bummed about the whole thing right now o.O

anyway the letter of proof was misplaced
but then again i doubt i would have gone even if it wasn't.
because that decision to reapply was made half heartedly
i mean, what's the point of doing something when you haven't got YOUR heart set on it?
oh well...

passerby, passerby.
are you just another passerby
or are you here to stay,
in my life?

my drummer turns 21 today...
it's nice to see people growing older each day (year) and still being very into what interests them most instead of being a huge working cynical jaded arsed and bored slob who just cannot be bothered to get their fat asses off wherever they are taking up space at to LIVE and then spend the off day from the work they complain non stop about lazing sleeping drinking fucking smoking wasting time.
not like i've got anything against people like that...
okay so i lied there o.O
i do have something against them
it's the "oh it's my day off today and i'm so SO so freaking bored but i just can't be bothered to do anything about it so i think i'll just go back to bed" line that pisses me off
maybe this is just the way society is, i don't know...
i just hope to be one of the luckier ones who finish school and then chance upon opportunities to do what they are really really interested in doing.
but if there's no luck, i'll still be trying to make things work right.
because even if society is really this way, life is what we make out of...

somebody loves you baby

click on this.
weird how that extra big word there looks so alienated on its own huh?

what happens if one day you wake to realise
that the you that you've always been is not the real you
and the you that you've always been is actually another you?


commitment-phobic

unreactive substance X
me.

it's not friday... but what the heck

fridayfive

1. Name five things in your refrigerator.
> fresh milk
green tea
strawberry jam
fruitcake
ritz biscuits


2. Name five things in your freezer.
> ice cubes
chicken breast
salmon
drinking straws (yup)
bottled water


3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.
> soya bean sauce
tomato sauce
chilli sauce
canned stuff
dried stuff


4. Name five things around your computer.
> packet of unopened murukku
gig review sheets
house candles
big red moment's Momentos
about a boy by roald dahl


5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.
> plasters
cotton buds
bandages
dettol
hand cream (?)


everything in life beautiiiful...

of all the things to do these days
searching for a meaning

in my eyes
tears will flow
people come
people go

of all the things to do these days...
i've never felt more
out of place

every cloud
hovers by
it's been a year
giving and forgiving

nothing up there
in the sky
all those songs
they're a bunch of lies

of all the things to do these days
i can't find a meaning

in my eyes
tears will flow
people come
people go

of all the things to do these days...
never felt more
out of place

hard to decide
anymore

i'll be denied.


the observatory

17th oct 2003
21:18

at this year
this month
this day
this hour
this second

i wonder how many on the planet and in the galaxy are jamming to no doubt's spiderwebs on bass right now!

there's no denial..........
ska once in a good while is fun! :p

are you giving in to a thousand men?

i was feeling kinda bored so i decided to clear the mess that i had on the ground between the comp desk n my working desk and i found these pictures from a super thick stack of other pictures then i thought i would post them up before i start on my straw project which was rejected by the lecturer last week so i gotta redo them today and hand it up on monday okay here are the pictures




clouded.
the balls have a new home with a view!




the usual mess.
it's like this every other weekend
and when i need to take the bed outta the cupboard (go ahead and take that literally) everything goes to one corner of the room :p




and everything that glitters is gold.
well at least i get something out of a mess




hi, i'm popkoRn, the noisy nasty pesty hammie! how do you do?
she gets high on raw corn.

WOW EVERYBODY SHOULD GO WATCH SCHOOL OF ROCK I JUST WATCHED IT AND IT WAS SUPER INSPIRING AND EVERYTHING ELSE EVERYBODY SHOULD JUST WATCH IT LIKE GET YOUR COPY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACK BLACK!
TENACIOUS D!
AND ALL YOU NEED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
NOW NOW NOW!!!!

i haven't been to the audioreload site for some time
i finished reading every new post in the forum a few minutes ago
and i feel kinda depressed now
why's there so much dissing?
constricting new bands to even try?
it's gonna be so tough for them...
and the state our scene has become today is so fucking sad.
it's even happening at purerock.
every friggin chance they get.
diss. diss. diss.
without doing a goddamn thing about anything at all.
bringing us down.
trying hard to, at least.
what bloody use is there?
what's the point here?

feels like a zillion years since i last blogged
been horribly busy the past few days... projects, meetings, and deadlines.
i was looking out of my window just now (the empty cross junction) and i saw this boy yanking hard on the NO TRESPASSING wooden signboard which was stuck into the huge piece of green until it came loose then he started thrashing it on the ground breaking it into two pieces and then into three then into four thrashing thrashing and thrashing from one far end of the field to the other end. o.O
i wonder if he realised that there might have be people watching from their windows
maybe not, he looked really involved in the thrashing of the signboard.
the weird things people do these days...

empty.





empty.


disconnected.

d tached.

complete alienation...

this has been kept in far too long......
im horribly disgusted by and sick of retards making stupid remarks and statements similar to


> emo is whining passing off as singing

> emo is punkrock skateboarders getting dumped

> emo is my cat got hit by a car and died.


and suddenly, ANYTHING related to ANGUISH becomes emo.
like what the fuck? a once properly catagorised music type brought down by stupid people
these ignorant, chilidish, worse than the whiney vocalist in that band they've just described dumbfucks...
because of ignorance and the stupid media and fucking MTV emo now has a new degraded connotation
and it isn't funny at all, to those who are really into THE music
you know what the ignorant has in head when you announce that your all time favourite album is one by an Emo band and it isn't nice having that run through your head then you just can't help it but start to explain what the Emo you listen to actually is to a fucking metalhead and you know why they call metalheads metalheads SOME (not
all) of them their minds so terribly difficult to get through to all day long the insides just go EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLE EVILLLLLLLLE \m/o.o\m/
ALL of these stereotyping hypocritical contradictory *music lovers* asswipes should just go get hit by a plane or something.

wow i just watched this jap anime The Cat Returns
magically fantastic is probably the term to describe movies like that
good for a weekend with 2 projects due on the following monday

okay maybe not so good
i was supposed to be working on them instead of watching anime... o.O

GRRRRR i am getting very mad at RIAA
because i can't friggin fIND MY AUDIO FILES TO DOWNLOAD ANY BLOODY WHEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !@$%^$#%@^%#!#$%@#^@^@$&#$^@$%!#!$%@#$@#%!#!#!$

double rainbow
the reflected one's damn faint
dyo see it?
both of them were looking real edible
i wonder where does the other side end

had a 5 hour nap earlier and it felt like 6am when i finally woke from the dream i was having but nooooo it's only 3am.
the dream was similar to one i had before by the way
it's the one with a nice warm fuzzy feeling when you're walking arm in arm in the streets with the person you're really interested in... you know?
and this time round my legs went literally soft and rubbery and i felt like i was walking on air during one part in the dream o.O
one of the effects you get from having nice warm fuzzy feelings i guess.
and it's the same guy in both dreams... only in different body forms i've no idea why.
but maybe it's just an unconscious infatuation of him i have in the day brought into the erm conscious me during sleep (?)
so don't get me wrong... i'm not head over heels crazy about him or anything like that (erm....)
we've known each other for like what, 5 years now?
friggin PRIMARY 6...
it'd be interesting to have some sort of a progression in the relationship :p
ha ha ha.
well i guess i should be getting back to sleep now...

before i had a band i thought playing in a band would definately be one of the greatest things in life a person could do.
not that i've changed my point of view on that but anyone who is/was in a band knows that it isn't easy being in a band and keeping a band.
been playing for the same band [with different line up(s)] for close to a year now and it feels nice when i say there isn't one tiny bit of me regretting picking up bass then having to go through a whole load of shit and nonsense before having ourselves where we are today. (not that we are anywhere close to the stage anyway)

erm yeah so my point of today's post today is:

now... i also think that playing in a band on a tour... any kind of tour. preferably a world tour. haha! would definately be one of the greatest valued experience in life a person could Ever have.

:p

i think the sun got to my head.

good evenings.
i just tabbed Brandtson's holly park
very nice to play... though in a very odd tuning o.O
haven't figured out what tuning it is.
tuned the bass strings by listening to the song and guessing which string the notes fall on in each bar
sunny day real estate's In Circles is damn nice to play too
perhaps i should try matchbook romance's Greatest fall the next time

call me an emo kid i don't care i'm addicted to hooked on infatuated with crazy about the 4/16 beats off beats double pedal absolute passion anger rage tears filled vocals
been having discs of similar genre in my discman for quite a while now.
anything faster goes into the trash

endless restless sleepless nights.
no more fairy tales and sing alongs in my head.
plastered smile on plaster face.
here comes emptiness crashing in...

as a piece of self slowly slips
found in a different galaxy
a glitter of green
with a different perspective
you can't possibly be everything in the world, can you?


what can't stay goes away



>>on repeat<<
smashing pumkins - dancing in the moonlight (thin lizzy cover)

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html

*grins*

yay i just finished fixing my glass proj
waiting for the glue/paint to dry now.
:)

everything that glitters is gold

didn't do much today
went down to simei in the morning
friend had a package for me
and then headed home... started on the glass proj
today's the first time in a zillion saturdays that i haven't got anything planned for the evening
well that's probably only because i decided to skip the dreams, luv & fantasy gig at esplanade park...
ha ha so here i am in front of my computer

blogging.


the gig started at 4pm anyway.
o.O

and i didn't have dough for film.

asked mom to get me a few rolls when she passes by the photo shop later.

feels like a super long time since i've blogged something decent
and yes i'm still alive... barely kicking though.
haven't been getting enough sleep the past few nights.
it seems like nobody's (okay at least just the ones i know of) really enjoying uni life.
chatted with a few friends studying in NUS recently and it really bugs me how and why are they giving so much of themselves to something which they don't even enjoy half of.
sure, a higher cert would definately do pockets better, but isn't what one has gotten out of life much more important to a Self at the end of it all?
we have only this much time on earth man...

hey GRINNIS...

thanks for dropping by and i hope you're doing fine :)

had a super tiring day
probably due to the lack of sleep
tossed and turned about last night for almost half an hour (yeah that's a personal record) before i dozed off.
new term nerves? o.O
well we're doing 3d stuff this term
glass and clay and wire and... bamboo planks.
i spent the whole day sweating in class today
well actually we aLL spent the day sweating
atrocious, the weather!

silver swirls
silver balls
aturning
spinning
running away

the perfect way to end the term break...
jam in the day and skate in the night.
the thought of going to school tomorrow doesn't sound so bad now
hmm i have no idea which class im supposed to go to

okay so blogger was down for a whole lot of hours earlier
and i've forgotten everything i wanted to blog about
this is a pretty interesting site.
well it's late
i ought to sleep soon

testtest

argh something's wrong here...
let's wait til tomorrow to see if the problem persists

hmm until i decide to work on the bg again
this one's staying

Throw away the radio suitcase
That keeps you awake
Hide the telephone in case you
Realize that sometimes
You’re just not okay

this is the way to spend the days...
we eat and sleep our lives away

I’ll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud

false accusations

hiC.
can't believe i skated the bloody whole of today (yesterday)
started at 9am was at youthpark all the way
looking like a lobster now plus scraped skin and bruises
hmmm it's weird how this works
just when i was thinking of slowing down in the sport because of time constrains the passion comes rushing back in all over again.
mom cooked alfredo pasta
think i ate a bit too fast
stomach feels weird
that was the only decent meal i've had since last night

i wanna skate again tomorrow

hmmm... why are all the good guys taken? :|

sunshine kisses
yellow raspberries
absolute folate
fall under the weight
hold it up

your
bare
worn
hands

shit i probably shouldn't have mentioned myself downloading files...
later kena summoned.

past few days have been packed like hell
now that things have slowed down and there is nothing else to do but develop pictures and write some more reviews, i am starting to feel a little uneasy of this slower pace.
just downloaded a few files from muse's newer album ABSOLUTION and they sound hmmm...
how should i put it. different?
kinda reminds me of the files this person once sent me that fell under the genre 'noise'
yes there is actually such a genre
it is when *noises* (mechanical sounds usually) are taken and remixed and arranged to form a *song*.
no tunes included

that's the mother cat on the left and her kitten playing with my camera holder
the mother cat and her 4 kittens used to live downstairs and i'd bring them food
i don't know where they've gone to now


cross my heart and i hope you die...

oh yeah forgot to mention that we took pictures of empty chalets at ecp with the camera phone and saw funny shadows.

something super odd happened today...
well i was home in the afternoon and decided to get some sleep and during the sleep i think i had a slight fever or some sort like that, no eye deer why bee cause i felt fine bee four i went to sleep.
was breaking out in cold sweat and all
so i woke up like 3 hours later to find that my door had been locked the whole time
asked family about it and they all had tried opening it while i was sleeping but couldn't
perhaps it was just me and being light headed after spending last night at substation (OBSERVATORY WOOHOO) and then at a friend's chalet, didn't get any sleep at all before and had a LOT of bar bee cued food bee four heading for some dumb school art trail in the morning.
erm yeah but i really don't remember locking the door
and i think this's the 2nd time something like that had happened
hmm...

i can't help it if i look stern all the time. o.O

convinced of my deception
always been a fool
fear this love reaction
just like you said i would

a rose could never lie
about the love it brings
and i could never promise
to be any of those things.

if i was not so weak
if i was not so cold
if i was not so scared of being broken
growing old
i would be...

blessed are the shallow
depth theyll never find
seemed to be some comfort
in rooms i try to hide

exposed beyond the shadows
you take the cup from me
your pain removes my blindness
your pain becomes my peace.

jars of clay - frail

...and the worst part of it all is that we can't do shit about what's in our faces.

the friggin RIAS website makes me wanna send them an email of cuss words.

hmmm the raw command isn't working and i am too tired to go figure out why so here's the webby for the friggin RIAS website

http://www.rias.org.sg

strangers
not one familiar
could it be who i've been waiting for
what we've all been waiting for

pointless
for there is no faith
there is no more hope

*yawn*

no use for a wish

tug tug tug
tug on the strings of your heart
tug tug tug
the lack of support here
there
everywhere
tug tug tug
when will it be our turn?
ouch.

NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS NO QUESTIONS NO ANSWERS.

FUCK...
absolutely can't stand guys who act/speak/display the cutesy wutsey slap my face now behaviour.
#@$@#$#!@$!#!@$@#%@#%@#
not saying they can't be like that
BUT NOT THE WHOLE TIME!
maybe it's the bloody flu...
making me all cranky and nose running all over the place
nothing much is happening
rushing to finish the major projs
term break is after the end of next week
can hardly wait

visual visuality visualisation visual culture
there is an intention for everything and if without intention everything would be nothing.

oh yeah... forgot to mention the jam on sunday
yes we finally got our asses together at a studio after 1-2 months and after having short unfruitful non ass kicking spirit deluding sessions in drummer's school club room with his make shift drum set and vocalist's huge (and sort of damaged) amp
but it was all good
it was as if the energy that was uhh built up inside during the non jamming period got let out right there and then
we played really really really really well :)
even tried a new song on the spot and there's only 1/4 left to perfection
once missing guitarist is now back in and we're thinking of taking in a keyboardist
woohoo
can't wait for this sunday

sent sam off at the airport a few hours ago
gonna be gone for 3 years now
a place super far away
tears tears tears...

[23:49] <[S]pike> anyone wanna buy japan ghost porn disc........ very nice one......... one disc only $5.............interested msg me

o.O
that's definately a first in #porn

the milky way is all we know...

bored oh bored oh bored.
broke broke broke broke broke
bored and broke.
has anybody got any job lobannnnnnnnngs?

wouldn't it be just great if we could tour the world with a band for a living

all the words in your head
all the words in my head
the words spunned of hate
regret
it's never too late
furrow your brow
turn back and contemplate
now push the blame to the head.

words, words, words...

wish he'd shut up and drop dead.

friend got into some deep shit with her parents for sneaking out wimme
damn... how unlucky is that.

lost it...
completely lost

nothing left to say
feelings gone astray
whatever happened to the days
we thought would never fray

look upon the sky
try to read my mind
read my mind
mind games

these mind games we all play

we'll never be the same
not again
not ever.

another waste of year
another waste of tears

everything good ends at some point

and have you ever felt neglected...
like giving is always not equal to receiving

olibia
"shadowed me"
charcoal on paper
a4

www.pure-rock.org is currently down.
please have patience and wait for its revival.

ring a ring of roses
a pocket full of poses
atishoo
atishoo
we all fall down

tired and borred
visited escape theme park today
err yesterday actually
it was fine.... enjoyed the go karts and this
360 wave ride thing
went on that thrice
it wasn't all that bad...

selling 2nd hand old skool usd arlo's size11...
any interested parties?

why do we always
try to make believe
what is not?

imagine painting 30 pieces of that
with similar textures and style...

listen: phonebooth - rooftop
listen: this maniac typing like a bullet train beside me

blogging from school once again
am spending more time than what i am comfortable with on school grounds
first class of 4 hours completely drrrained me
about 10 more minutes to waste before the next
the rooftop song's really sweet
check it out at phonebooth

i haven't got much to say to anybody today
"why you not talking? what's your problem?"

geez the computers in this lab i'm in right now are worse than the one i used to have a long time ago which was running under pentium1
i'm wondering where each 3k paid every year goes to
but i can't really complain now can i
at least i have somewhere to school in o.O
wasting time right now, lecturer has seen the animation's painted main frames and went
'very beautiful'
i think she has brain damage

this year's baybeats was horribly crowded...
foreign attraction i guess o.O
left me wondering where all these erm
fans came from
anyway the music wasn't baddddd really
saw a few interesting bands namely hearing hill, the observatory, throb.
and a few very good ones... colour my iris, tempered mental, steel city skies...
maybe... just maybe
there's hope for us afterall :)
*very very doubtful*

whoa this year's baybeats certainly has an increment in crowd
foreign attraction perhaps
shit loads of passerbys and teenagers
probably the hype
punkrock hype
realised a lot of regular local bands sound the same
or at least play along the line of a same genre
sigh

....stagnant.
there seem to be no more drive
in june... is kinda history
well not really
we just scraped the name and probably will stay a 3 piece band.
one guitarist left
the other got kicked
(yes commitment problems.)
so ex lead vocalist has to play guitar and sing
bassist has to play and sing
drummer has to play and sing
everybody has to rewrite their parts.
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh somebody help ussssssssssssssssssssssss

you know you are an anti socialist when...

*
. you avoid eye contact with classmates after orientation/during first few days of school/work

. you avoid being asked out for lunch/asking classmates/colleagues out for lunch

. you seal any chances of somebody asking you for an introduction

. you take the later/earlier bus when you find out that an acquaintance from school/work takes the same bus

. you groan inwards before plastering a smile on your face when a colleague/classmate/acquaintance spots you on a bus/train ride

. you'd rather listen to your discman/md/mp3player/radio/walkman than have a conversation on bus/train rides

. you are not interested in talking about your interests unless asked because it is only polite to reply

. you are not interested in knowing about anybody else's interests when nobody talks about their interests

. you want nothing to do with anybody besides necessary interaction during school/work hours

. you notice everybody giving you the eye/the curious look everytime you pass by them
*

and the list goes on...

bcos it's all smoke and booze and stupid music...
dyo enjoy smoke and booze and stupid music?

you are gonna look back
and ^ hate me
but i ^ ^ don't care
because
all i ^^^ live
is
for ^^ the
^ ^ ^^ moment .

and only ^
^ ^ the
^^^ ^ ^moment .

you lie
you hide
you run
you keep the secrets
we know the secrets
binded secrets
about to break
break...

feels like it's been quite a while since i wrote here
school's been hectic
only the 3rd day and we've already got the 6th project to do research on.
o.O
it's cool at lasalle, they don't really mind if dressing is damn casual
slack like they say
i mean what's the point of dressing up early in the morning every bloody day
and they don't make us sms temperatures twice a day like they do at SP
and they dont have stupid colour zones too
2 smses a day = 60 a month on average
that's quite a lot actually

wowee school in just about 9 hours' time
so friggin excited i almost forgot to blog.

a close friend bitches about the bastards she meets all the time
and has swore a billion times she'd keep outta their way
because when they leave all she is are pieces of a broken heart
well when new ones are in her range she'd get all excited all over again
then the bloody cycle refreshes and repeats itself
she'd ask for my opinion on boys she fancy
she'd get pissed now and then for being overly sensitive
she'd grieve a day or two for the heart she has not
then the bloody cycle refreshes and repeats itself
all over again

today i was queueing for some dao hua drink at the store
there were 2 people in front of me
then this auntie came and stood beside me thinking she might be able to cut my queue
and another uncle came and stood right in front of the auntie and i thinking he might be able to cut our queue
so when the 2 people left the queue the uncle hurriedly gave his order
but the lady took mine instead so i paid first
and then the uncle paid while another lady served the drink
the uncle was going to reach for the drink but the lady who served me insisted it was mine cos i was there first
so he snatched his 2 dollar bill outta the lady's hand and stomped off.
o.O

seems like everybody is broke all the time
save on food
make a sandwich
pack from home
save on transport
use your feet
walk a few thousand miles
waste some time
never enough time
not enough time......

broke broke broke broke broke... so fucking broke
somebody pleash donate to the olibia trustfund
*stressed*

awoke before dawn today
and
headed down to school
went through 2 hours of
crap
and
escaped the rest with a friend
muHAHahaAHHAhahahaHAHahAHahaHAhah

i would swallow my pride
i would choke on rhines
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
wanna put my tender
heart in a blender
watch it spin round into a beautiful oblivionnnnnn
rendezvous then i'm through with you...

*bOogies & celebrates the birth of music*

it's so funny unny nny ny y ...
how one can feel so drained rained ained ined ned ed d ...
after a few hours on a few paragraphs.
ah but what the hell at least i'm writing for a cause...

wow blogger has had a facelift
takes damn long to load though.
this morning feels like a dream
was walking the streets (or rather, roads...) of orchard with a friend after the album launch at HRC.
review will be up on monday at purerock.
anyway it feels like i've walked a few thousand miles in total today
legs are totally sore but no worries, not sore enough to disable me from walking like a normal person.
and i haven't had any sleep since the 6 hours yesterday.
we hung out at esplanade and blew loads of bubbles into the river (valley?)
thank goodness someone else's gonna cover the gig at YMS tomorrow for me.
although i feel a wee bit uneasy about that... ... ... . . .
not doing my job like i should i meant.
but wowee fcuk has a storewide sale of 50%-70% off items!
need to get new glasses... and a lot of cdRs.
NO MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

if you were to ask me if life's good
i would say hell yeah...

i was at the library the other day when there was this bespectacled chinese guy who looked like he was in his mid 20s in front of me and we were in queue for the book borrowing machines.
then there it was... the only free machine right in front of him but it was set in the malay language
well i'm quite sure everybody has been to a national library...
but he took a look and looked away, and waited for another available one.
i couldn't figure out what his problem was.
and i still can't...

whatever, nevermind...

it's hard... to maintain relationships.
everybody gets bored sometimes.
feelings too odd to describe.
and words become difficult to find.
don't they?

WHO FINISHED THE ORANGE JUICE AGAIN!

it was 2 hours from town to punggol on bus before.
now... with the purple line
45 minutes from orchard including time taken to walk from the station to my doorstep!
*does the hokey pokey*

FINALLY FINISHED THE FRIGGIN ARTICLE
MAN I WAS GONNA JUMP OUT THE WINDOW IF I COULDN'T FINISH IT BY DAWN
IT'S BEEN 3 DAYS
but then it's unnecessary now so.

uncertainty
why do we even speak of feelings
that stay for denial?
if only you would know
if only words are as easy as they come
if only it was simpler...
lesser complications
no complications.

IT'S RAINING IT'S RAINING IT'S RAINING!
*skips around*

well... found this pretty funny, got it off chris ho's Attack of the S.M Space Encroachers

the straits times reported on January 31, 2001 a road-rage incident mentioned in court: "a 43-year old laywer W felt something hit the back of his silver Mitsubishi. he stopped the car and inspected it for the damage and found a slight dent on the rear bumper. the driver of the other car M also got out. there was a brief confrontation... M got angry and accused W of braking suddenly. W told M that if he did not intend to settle the matter, he would have to call the police. M then asked his wife C to phone her father. when W heard that, he got angry and shouted at her: "Why call your father? call Lee Kuan Yew or the f___ing police."

tsk tsk, tsk, tsk. (no prizes for guessing which driver ended up with a fine)

>what dyo call a young mat?
mini mart

:p

man i went to the worst gig ever earlier...
argh.. it was so bad
i got so irritated i left before the 4th band could finish playing
and... they had 10 bands to play.
i'm so pissed i'm gonna scrape the review and have an article of griping...

these feelings...
these feelings we feel
these unnecessary feelings we feel.

i've done it again...........
it's just weird, why i keep mixing days up.
thought today was friday until i gave my workplace a call to tell my friend that the xgames comp is tomorrow (saturday) and the xtrials are today (friday).
so i was all set to go for an appointment i've got at amore
and now i'm all ready but with nowhere to go
ha ha.

they've left
and said they'll be back at 1330 later.
it doesn't feel really right wanting to go back to sleep after a meal.

and i've been having a flu for 2 days now
and a bloody sore throat to add to that
i might have sars
ha ha.

received some phone call at about 8
i didn't know if the ringing was from outside or from my room
but i answered it anyway
and some idiot said he'd be calling again later before he reaches the flat to fix the walls
and i said okay
then i went back to sleep
and then
the same idiot brought in somemore idiots at 9
that was when
i had to wake up and stop sleeping.
have had less than 5 hours of sleep
in a pretty depressed state of mind right now
and i actually have some class at amore later
contemplating going back to dreamland instead

why do i allow you to let myself be bothered by these unjustified acts of yours?

lost it a bit there earlier
but all's fine now
sometimes when too many things are going on in your life at one time
it just gets really heavy
and
well it gets to you.

bloody guitarist resigned from the band yesterday.
and he said the meanest thing someone's ever said to me in a long time
he said that i had been waiting for the day.
it isn't my fault that the boy doesn't know what he wants
and that he cannot keep commitments.
he's the kind of person who would make it sound like aljunied is the north pole when the rest of the band live on the other side of the country and when he lives in bedok.
and a whole load of other nonsense.
guess we'll be taking a break
get things sorted out and try out a few guitarists.
he couldn't play for shit anyway.

i probably should give an award to redsky :p
for being the
most active commenter i've ever had at my blog :p
not that it's bad or anything like that...

slow afternoon... the heat's making me sleeepy.
and sleepy.
sleepysleeepysleepy...

6 hours straight in a pub = hair still stinking of cig smoke even after 2 washes
too many hardcore bands in a row = half dead brain
punkrock bands with not much showmanship =
you get the idea.
anyhoooo... One Up For The Kids was a gig well done.
the bands were tight and they played their music well.
do check out purerock in a few days' time for my review.
and other reviews as well.
til then...

the night was alright
had quite a few drinks
stomach feels weird now
company was good
music wasn't
drinks weren't really good
guess i ain't much of a drinker
probably won't be sleeping
got a jam session later at 11am
and then will be heading home
shower and change
then head out for bruce almighty.
please let bruce almighty be entertaining enough to keep me awake..
i ain't gonna be at a club for a long long time from now

can't believe i let my friend talk me into clubbing tonight
she's just lucky i said yes because it just so happens that she's my best mate
and cos she'll be leaving for england soon.
and nope my parents don't know
can't bloody believe this...

he said> page me! call me! fax me! email me! and drop me a line while you're at all of that!
me> ?

spent the whole of yesterday's afternoon (technically) on a collage
it was a cut and paste thing
extracts of pictures from this book on how The Pianist was made
the booklet can be found together with the dvd they're selling out there
wasted about 10 of them
well anyway everything was done on a yellow vanguard sheet
unkempt black wax crayon colour filled the spaces
blood red outlining of the overlapping pictures
spiked purplish pink border of my heading
piece looks dark and sad
mom asked why i made it so .. er.. frightening was the word she used.
called it 'demise of the beautiful'
think i'm gonna be doing a series of similar pieces before putting everything up
putting everything up as in putting them on my walls...
wish i had a webcam

tired and uninspired.

why's everybody waiting for a telephone call?
*sigh*

memories stay... feelings don't.

let's not talk about it now because i am very very tempted...
very tempted to disagree to everything you suggest.
rest assured i'll be a changed person when my tomorrow comes.
goodnight you...

delusional....they're allll delllluuussiioonnaaal.
seeing what's in their heads... believing what's in their heads.
hearing what's in their heads... believing what's in their heads.

yeah so i went and i am back from sonic edge worship service
bands were super tight and good
friends and i left before the sonic edge band could finish playing
or rather erm finish their worship
so my review wouldn't be completed.

they were playing and flashing lyrics of praises of god on the projector.

well... just finished painting my once beige canvas shoes
they're now blue stars against black with lots of glitter
look horribly messy when up close though
but it's nice from afar
i'd take a picture if i had a webcam.
so if you ever see shoes like that........................

why do you even bother asking...
when you don't really want to know?
when all you want is my one worded reply and my sympathy with whatever you're going to tell me about next.
whatever you are going through/have gone through.
whatever makes you happy......

>dont tell me ud rather go run on the tread mill n stare into space like some idiot
hmm there is such a thing called tv
>or sign up at the california fitness club n run on the tread mills facing the outside so that u can think people think ure a person full of will power n that ure the fittest n the most beautiful person in the universe
in front of the tread mill
>ok sorry im over reacting a bit.. lol
u havin pms i understand
>oh then perhaps i have been having pms all my friggin life

stiffstiff neck... edits edits and more edits.
here's something i got off the book i'm on.
food for thought?

'the doctrine of soul mates can be described as the belief that at some time a split occurred, separating the physical and spiritual natures of a person. the result of this split is that no human being can be complete within itself. the believers in the soul mate theory think it's necessary to be reunited with the other half of one's self in order to achieve perfection. this is a sad misunderstanding. each person is complete within himself. reincarnation and karma affirm the completeness of each person. romantic infatuation is too often confused with the desire to find the other part of oneself, or one's soul mate.'

- the power of karma, mary t. brown

nothing much happened today... had the worst fall of my life earlier i think
almost peed in my pants
boy the impact was so great the pain went to my head when i landed on my butt
had to lie down for a while but all's fine now
left knee feels a bit fucked as well but what the heck
i'm not complaining or anything just merely making use of the space i have on this blog
i seriously wouldn't know what life is if without everything that i'm doing now (as in general)
dyed my hair again and it didn't turn out right as usual
so instead of getting blonde streaks i have red streaks in a more vibrant red.

because popkorn ran outta water 4 days ago and because it's been so so very hot
she just spent 5 whole minutes at the bottle drinking water
didn't realise how much she has shrunk (again) until 10 minutes ago
and she's still at the bottle.
she's gonna drown to death at this rate
ha i feel like a total ass.

stiffneck.
i haven't got anything interesting to write today...
the day has been uneventful.
trudged through work
4 more days before it alll ends..
can't believe i've been with videoezy for almost half a year already.
where the hell did time go?

watched yet aNOther movie today
bringing down the house
didn't really make an impression
it's the kinda movie you wouldn't remember 10 years down the road.
caught also xmen2 a few days back
think xmen2 was much better than matrix reloaded
probably because i was already falling asleep during the first 30 minutes of it
or maybe it was just me
or maybe it was just the heat
jammed today
guitarist a bit pessimistic about us performing next month
how will we know the results when we haven't even been put to test yet?

sonic edge gig 31st may
anybody up for it?
does anybody have any comments
still wondering if it would be wise to go

when.
when?
WHEN!!!!!!!!!?

BORED half to death at work.
played and replayed and replayed and replayed and replayed and replayed (that's 6 times altogether) nirvana's mtv unplugged album until colleague wanted to watch edward scissorhands.
still bored.
it's been a long long time since someone last surprised me with something.
or rather
i haven't been surprised by anything in a long long time.

bloody bore.

make up your mind
take a point
make the point
you contradict.
round and round in circles we go...

somebody should start manufacturing thigh guards or some sort soon
i keep on hitting the same area now it's bruised all over again
but skating was cool today
we had the whole park to ourselves Ü

sun's finally going down
it's been a hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot day
well i don't know about the morning
but it was super hot in the afternoon
spent the whole day (afternoon) playing the bass and the guitar and making loads of noise and downloading loads of stuff
cos something urgent cropped up so the vocalist cldnt jam and so we called it off
gonna leave the house soon
the night has arrived and it's time to skate

boy oh boy oh boy.

had this... farewell gathering for a friend today
well all i can say is...
never attend gatherings which were organised to just let everybody 'hang out and talk'.
went to the sanitarium '03 gig as well
i must say i had better fun there than the gathering
tho' the gathering
was all for a good cause...
caught matrix 2 in the early afternoon
it was inspiring
but not fascinating enough
i have not watched xmen 2
waiting for the incredible hulk
the monster's green!
GREEN.
i had just one meal today
and it wasn't even healthy
okay so basically it wasn't a really great day...

'Ever felt all alone? Ever wondered if anyone feels the way u do? Now go think, we aren't so alone after all.'

it's So So sO sO So So sO sO So So sO sO cOLd tonight...
so friggin' cold... so silent
so very dark
so very lonely?

and it gets you thinking;
where the hell did things go wrong?
everything we had doesn't stand for anything anymore.
>cheer up, scuzzie boy.
>come sit beside me and i'll share with you my chaota kaya toast and milk.
*sigh*

for all the broken hearted
welcome to the club.

man i came across a whole chain of weblogs belonging to people who do art
comparing my own crappy standard of art work with theirs
it feels like it's going to be difficult getting through art school
and it doesn't make me feel very good.
i should do something about this soon...

haven't really got anything to write...type about today
10 hours at work felt like one whole month
band might just perform in june
ain't getting my hopes high though
everything's not confirmed yet
the waiting is kiiillllliiinnnnnnnng me slowly.
looking forward to stopping work at the end of the month...
there's so much to do in june!!!!
define Crush?

i just re read the whole chunk of my archives
boy was i entertained
ha ha.

today the injuries aren't black
they aren't blue either
they are red
but i bet the bones are black and blue
cos it hurts like mad to even walk
but what the heck i hhaddddddd fuuunnnnn todayyyyyyyyyyy :D
and today (untechnically) i used purple hair dye
but it didn't turn out to be purple
not red either
no idea what colour
a cross between red and purple
but everything's fine cos it doesn't look horrendous

hooray for pure rock!!
one site more to get info on local scene!
there still is so much talk about how lousy the local scene is compared to what others have elsewhere.
i really don't see it
are the bands here really that sad?
all the politics
they are making everything seem so difficult.

keep to yourself... keep to yourself.

it's been a crappy day
felt like shit the whole evening
but everything's fine now that i've had peanut butter sandwiches and milk.

all you think about is yourself and it's such a shame
i'm sick and tired of your stupid talk and your silly games
i can't stand it when you bend the rules to your liking
and that's the reason why we can't stop fighting
so punch me right in the face
so kick me out to outer space
whatever makes you happy.............

-sherene's closet, Over

what else is there left to be happy about?
dont you just wish that sometimes...
just wish that you wouldnt be so hard on yourself...
but what's to be done?
this is the way you are
this is the way things are...
there is no one else to blame
for the way you are
and the way things are.

i got into lasalle man...........

soya sauce
the huge dosage
one spoonful
feel it linger
at the throat
the after taste
feel its compounds
sting my eyes
make me cry
artificial
so artificial

i need... amnesiac..
need...radiohead...
need to buy...
need...
radiohead..
money...

pretty pissed off right now
my guitarists seem to have disappeared from the surface of the world
and we are to jam tomorrow

hollow us.

hollow hollow hollow hollow.........
hollow woman
hollow man

didn't finish my drawing..
cos i was only given an hour to do 3 items
and i only finished one
nothing can be done
but the interviewer looked pretty amused throughout when i presented my portfolio
hope all will be fine
i feel hollow today
sam is back from england
and she'll be leaving 4 months later
i still feel very hollow

i'm finally done with my portfolio.......
finally........ the burden... off me back...
the relieve.... i cannot comprehend...
it's the same as sitting for important papers in school
the sooner i get over the paper
the better i feel...
in about 10 hours' time i'll be leaving the house for la salle
i probably finished my portfolio only because the presentation is today

empty... so very empty..... .. ... .. .

see that girl down the street?
see that girl walking weird down the street.
the girl hidden in a hood so black
the girl detached like a distant memory.
see that girl down the street?
see that girl and you see me.

oh so bruised.

skated errr yesterday, technically.
bought new skates as well.
team psirus
really good looking.
only thing which is missing is this soul plate to attach at the side of the right skate
the one which my old arlos have
oooh maybe the old one can fit the new skates
since they're all usd thrones
day was pretty cool
learnt new stuff.
colleague who is new to skating did a misty flip from a ramp on a sloped ground.
straight up. it wasn't intended.
he landed on his head.
he couldn't speak for half a minute.
his nerves went mad and he was shaking all over.
his eyes were wide and in shock.
he was right in front of me and i could do nothing but ask if he was alright.
for that 1 minute 995 kept flashing in my head.
i was supposed to catch him at the end of the ramp.
i was at the end of the ramp.
tripped over his fallen body.
but all's fine now... he just has this very terrible strain below his ear.
felt so bloody guilty cos he was using my new skates.
they are super smooth and slippery and light and everything else.
alright i need to go take some more photographs for the portfolio

maybe i over react...
to certain situations and issues.. yes.
might be over sensitive... yes.
perhaps principles shouldn't be placed in such high positions...?
what the hell makes a real person then?

reading chuck palahniuk's lullaby.
very amusing...

these noise-oholics. these quiet-ophobics.
it's not that you want everybody dead, but it would be nice to unleash the culling spell on the world.
just to enjoy the fear.
after people outlawed loud sounds, any sounds that could habour a spell, any music or noise that might mask a deadly poem, after that the world would be silent.
dangerous and frightened, but silent.

every expectation is a disappointment
therefore it is best not to expect anything out of anyone at all

all these weird/stupid dreams happened when i was in a semi conscious state
that is why i can remember all of them
i knew i was asleep and awake at the same time yet they still felt real
hell i even smelt how the drug smelt like

hmmm had the weirdest dream this morning
the 2nd weirdest was when i dreamt i got high
inhaled some drug thing and i actually felt high?
then the 3rd weirdest was when i jumped from the kitchen window on the 9th storey at my old flat
cos i was too lazy to take the stairs (?)
in the dream i wasn't injured at all but i had aches all over when i woke up.
the dream this morning
i dreamt that i was at this really old mansion with a friend i think
and we were just wondering about then suddenly
i blacked out
i think i was stabbed in the back
by whom or what i don't know.
and i dreamt that i woke up in a hospital and doctors and nurses crowding around me
i dreamt that i was in a semi sleep state
and the doctors were trying to decide whether to inject huge doses of numbing chemical into my ear (?)
i felt a dull pain in my right ear when they decided to.
and when i woke up in the dream, the nurse gave me small packets of my own blood
and skin and flesh and everything else which was leftover after the operation
i didn't know what for
then i was told to go check out of the hospital.

rain might come... wind is strong
box of melted chocolates unopened
clock has stopped living
bits of paper in envelops
picture of you.
to be kept away like mummyfied treasures in a tomb
to be lost in time like waves in space
like memories that need to be put to sleep.
the rain is so gentle it can't be heard

couldn't post any entries yesterday
there were some problems going on with blogger again
so i logged off and wrote in my notebook until i fell asleep with the pen still in hand
sometimes shit happens and i always wonder why i even bothered

don't hold on to time
it moves with or without you
it's like trying to hold on to a passing train
don't hold on to people
all you do is hurt yourself.
don't attach
don't hold on to anyone's anything
throw out memories
pull them out like bad teeth
don't attach
what was, was
it's not easy to face.

henry rollins is still alive

who can you really put trust in these days besides yourself?

...forgotten memories

yay comments' link is up

feeling tired...
associate me with feminine adjectives and i'd feel like all sense of masculinity has been stolen

FRIDAY FIVE!!!!!?

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
it was at work... chased this prick friend of mine who works opposite my store with an ink chop in hand.


2. What one person touched your life this week?
it didn't happen


3. How have you helped someone this week?
every little action counts... good deeds are done out of good will
i tend to forget things i do out of good will


4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
my art pieces for the portfolio completed


5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
complete my portfolio and get my pay banked in
ok so that was two...

nevertheless...
The Portable was interesting

and even if nobody knew about blackflag and henry rollins's books
he must have tonnes of friends
and he must have spoke to them about his books
and his friends must have talked about his books to their friends
and their friends must have mentioned it to their friends' friends
and friends' friends' friends
and friend's friends' friends' friends'
well the list goes on
and the world goes round and round and round

oooh i am gonna be exactly 16 years and 3 months old at 3:45pm today.

reading henry rollins's The Portable...
i wonder if his books would be as successful as they are now if he had never played for blackflag
i doubt he can deny that being known to have played for blackflag helped in this success
i mean... hmm... honestly
who would want or even bother to read the random thoughts of life and people in general...
of a nobody?
the perfect example in your face

recording... remembering... repeating... yet again

recording... remembering... repeating...

at work right now
started the first shift today because my store manager forgot to bring her keys home and left them in the store
the american ring is boring and slow and quiet
but the tape which youre supposed to watch in there so that you can die has super cool graphics and colours
i would like to make a short film like that

random thoughts
words...
do you know?
your lies
promises
broken
rainwater
the wind carries
do i hear thunder
in the distance
see the sky
the sky lights up
bolts of flashes
turn black
white.
sigh

the silence seems to suffocate and bury me again...

goodbye
the future's sold out
there's no use screaming.
who thought we'd ever get this far

tonight, your faith has come down
to money and a TV
psychics who've never been to mars
and nazis breast feeding

i know you must be upset
i can't find meaning
i'm sorry we're sorry
we're all scared
all scared

hey
is anybody home?
has anybody
wasted tears on loneliness that everyone

goodnight the truth has come out
everyone's needy.
white teeth, a ticket to meet god
be all that you envy

the shotgun under your bed has
started breathing.
you shot it, you shot it
i'm bare... so bare.

is anybody home?
has anybody wasted
tears on loneliness that everyone becomes
is anybody home
has anybody painted fear
on the bedroom walls that save us from.....

has anybody wasted tears on loneliness that everyone becomes when they're not alright?

2/3s of me is filled with stress.......
how the hell am i gonna complete 8 pieces of art within 3 weeks?
!!@##@!$$#@!!%$R@#%@#$@#$ #@$@###%R@!
@#$@##%^$&^$%^#%$$%#$^#$3^$%#^$

the world is an unhappy place...

SO SO SOO SOOOSSSOOO SO SO SOOO
STRRRRRRRESSSSSFUUUULLLLLLLLLLL

22 more days to the lasalle interview and.
i am ashamed to say i have only 2 pieces of presentable art.......
everything else is in the making.
AAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG!
tHiS iS SO StRESSFUL.

i just had a change of guestbook
cos the last one sucked

bedok skatepark wasn't that bad afterall
though the first impression i had was
THAT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING PLAYGROUND!
but it really is better than youthpark's
cos there are loads of floor rails and even a dish
and grindable seats
and the place is realllllllll biggg anddddddd spaaciooouus
so there are more things to do
though the ramps are a bit fucked up
and the floors are friggin slippery
really difficult to get speed for gaps
but they just need time to be gotten used to
well i've busted both my shins and right thigh right butt right palm
won't be skating for a while
heh.

there's a reason to why talking cock the movie was made here in singapore

:)

so you say
what's a few glitches to achieving a life long dream?
people's been through more shit than that.
what does a life long dream even stand for these days?

i didnt bloody join a band just to waste time.

things are bad
really bad
i aint jamming again this week.
fuck man
what rubbish
is
this
.

fuck.

before i forget...

whoever's reading this
go to http://www.audioreload.com/phorum/read.php?f=7&i=777&t=777
PLEASE....
and send that guy an email!!!!

i would cry if radiohead really comes...

i don't wanna be old having spent my life doing what never pleased me
i want to remember how i used to envy those who have a band to play in
and i want to remember that i have a band to play in
i will never be forced into a culture i cannot accept
i also want some green jellytots.

sometimes things are just so difficult when people around you disagree

sigh we wouldn't be jamming again until the end of next week
all thanks to the on going common tests
and i'm bloody excited about getting into lasalle
my mom made pasta today
it's been a bloody long time since i ate home cooked stuff
work's been alright the past few days... things aren't so boring anymore because i work on my art pieces at work (?)
kinda regret not taking art in secondary school
i depend on friends' guidance to a successful portfolio
it's gonna determine a fourth of my future

this feels bloody disconnected

im so sick of my hairstyle maybe i should just shave it all

but no of course im not gonna shave my head

lies and the mindless doings of yours
another heart needs mending.
what else can i say?
sigh.

OH NO THE CLAY ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH

im gonna go to work with spiked hair tomorrow
punk style





no im not a butch

RELATIONSHIPS ARE SUCH A DRAG.

i was scheduled to wake only at noon
but due to the consistent phone calls and messages and cries for comfort and reassurance
i am now fully awake
it's become a norm for people to be all jittery and nervous and uneasy and everything else which has the same meaning or are related one way or another i have a tendency to make my sentences very long it was one of the things that irritated the hell out of my english teacher a few weeks/days/hours/minutes before receiving results
but if you reallly think about it
IT ISN'T NECESSARY AT BLOODY ALL...
i mean.. what's done been done so all we can do now is sit and wait patiently and quietly
qoute from mom.. these days people don't know how to differenciate from right and wrong especially when it comes to the matters of the head (?)
errr whatever it is i'm glad i have a mom like that because who knows.. if i hadn't had her i might just be one of those 'people' she's made an example of
think i'll just go play the guitar

it was fucking incredible today
was at youth park and i don't know where i got the adrenalin from
i just was jumping all over the place
managed a 180 to a stalled royale on the vert
a gap in the air from a ramp
anyway it was fucking incredible
until i came home
father just hadddddd to do it
he just haddddd to end my day with something upsetting
and i have to fucking work tomorrow morning
he ends my day like that
oh i met sham
heh

test test

ive got serious issues
and im not very sure of their definations

just how long more til i can finally quit the job and live a life...
rumour has it that results will be out at the end of the month
excellent.
the sooner the better.
haven't done much this week
though a friend and i have started on some designs for our independent apparel label
bloody excited about it
i hope there will be progresses big enough for me to advertise merchandise here on the blog

so i decided to continue blogging

happy chinese new yearrrrrrr to whoever's reading this
and vday's around the corner
seriously didnt realise until a friend mentioned it
happy vday in advanced
get your roses now
dry flowers are In
happy deepavali while im at it
has anybody got any idea on How to remove awful looking/smelling henna?

im tired of blogging maybe i should just leave this site to die

it's been a great day
skated from day til night heh.
bought quite a few tshirts toooooo
radiooooheadddddddd ddd dd ddddd dd d
they didn't have stock on strokes though
didn't know they were that popular among people here
father almost ruined the day by giving me yet another lecture on staying out late
and this is only singapore.. think he's going to flip if i tell him i have planned for myself to further studies abroad
all thanks to mom for making such a big fuss out of me missing the stupid bus
had to walk 25 minutes of road from sengkang
like helloooo we're living in punggol now
travelling about using public transport isn't as fast and convenient as before
they're building the punggol mrt station at an incredibly sloooowww pace
and my estate is only 10 minutes walk away from the station
the guestbook's been down for quite some time now
i'm too lazy to search for a replacement