If you ever need to let go, it's okay.

because I will understand.

it is at times like this I feel like a down right useless jerk-off who does not know or is unable to do enough to make things better but merely sticks around to take up and waste precious living space.


so shitfully oppressive

Hello world


I am back.

I missed blogging.
okay it's time to go back to sleep...




listen: sigur ros - svefn g englar

2 hours ago i thought of the perfect 7th month anniversary gift.

2 hours later doubts envelope the necessity.

and i find it kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams of which i'm dying
are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very very
mad world

raindrops like weights upon my shoulders

paranoia.

nerve disorder.

violence.

why does it feel like i'm doing everything wrongly?



"it is like the breakage of a silent heart
giving and not receiving
sharing and not understanding
repressed and not healing"

so damn unworthy.



oh and i am shredding skin like nobody's business.

Ü

i stayed/am staying home the whole of today...
younger bro's EL paper 1's tomorrow so i had to give him extra tuition
decided to make myself more useful and made dinner for the rest

attempted cooking porridge and hey
it didn't turn out all that bad afterall... :p
before my mom left the house she told me not to cook her share
and when she got home she said it's good and she'll take some later
did she really think i would have screwed it up?
-___-"

anyway i've yet to perfect that *creamy* texture i was supposed to create
the shredded crabsticks were added in too late and the fried butter chicken slices were far too thick and so nothing really *dissolved* into the huge pot of bubbling mixture
but the outcome tasted really nice so what the heck
my brothers loved it
and i really wanna experiment with other ingredients as well...

i just hope they won't get sick of my porridges too soon
cos there's gonna be lots more of porridge cooking sessions the next few days...

i'm gonna be staying away from the sun for a long long time...
*winces in pain*

geez i can't believe i just saw 311 and lost prophets on MTV's non-stop hits

was gonna continue watching until gareth gates came on and turned me off

groundwork IV the exhibition held at the end of every foundation year was last friday...
so jayjay was my date and we went and watched my classmates' super improvised wayang play

oh yeah and everybody will agree with me, sexy lady of lasalle SIA foundation year 03/04 with never ending legs and skirts that seem to get shorter and shorter each passing day is indeed the one who gets the most gawks and stares and checking outs, wherever her presence is felt. ;)

and i digress
today i met up with jay earlier in the day before catching Jersey Girl (it was urrrrm a LITTLE too boring, sorry nina :p) and having dinner, etc with 2 of my oldest and closest friends i got to know during primary school days...
it was a very very nice meet up just because we were at total ease with one another and we missed hanging out together and stuff...
had a great time laughed our asses and stomachs and boobs off at the silliest things done and said
you wouldn't wanna know what... :p

a lot of people i know don't keep in touch with their primary school mates anymore
i suppose they didn't have so much of a bond as i did with a few of mine
it was during that period we all were trying to grow up and figure things out
it was during that period when it was okay to make mistakes and laugh/cry about them together later on
it was during that period where you can be honest with one another and not feel embarrassed about the way you are because we were all going through the same shit
and it was also during that period you could tell who would be your friend and who wouldn't when you're done with that primary education

:)

i miss it but i don't want to spend another 6 years going through it again as well... it's already part of what i am today and i've got no regrets of anything or whatsoever... okay i realise that i am starting to ramble but it's late in the night so what the hell

he's still hard at work and it's only been 8 hours since we last parted and i'm missing him like hell already *sigh*

and since nina reads my blog... thanks for today girl *hugs* Ü Ü