my mom has been telling me a lot of sob/horror stories of how certain B/G, or rather, married couples' relationships that she know about had failed the past few days... to warn me to be wary of certain signs that will eventually succumb to a sad ending or to scare me out of having a relationship at this age, I don't know... but I sure hope it was for the former. though I have a feeling it was for both causes.

when you start to hear about how relationships are crumbling, especially from those whom you personally know, it's a natural reaction to think about the relationship/s that you're having (if any)... then comes paranoia and doubt. and it would be an outright lie if you claim there's no doubt for the other who is involved in the relationship.

so I admit my mom had successfully instilled doubt and paranoia in me... but wait, I did use HAD... instead of has. it HAD been a blurry past few days... not about how my significant other would do the same to me as others had done, but more about 'if that could happen to others, it could happen to me as well... what would I do then?'. it's a case of how you would want to believe in the positivity of things but then again have no guarantee over it (unless you're a future reading wizard), and the latter being the logical one......

BUT when there's a bad side to things, there will be a good side as well... because without good there will never be bad. and then I thought, it's only human nature (majority of human nature that is) to be pessimistic about things... and to look from the *minority's* point of view, if there are bad relationships, surely there would be good ones as well? and if you can harbour thoughts of the 'what ifs' of a bad relationships, why not concentrate on the 'what ifs' of the good ones instead?

trust... too much of it is naiveté, too little is infuriating.

it is quite difficult to see things from a crystle clear point of view at times, especially when one is constantly absorbing information from all around him/her... I guess the only way to go about doing this is to be, yes, wary of all the *potential* signs of a sad end to whatever that you're dealing with... and at the same time, take and understand the situations as they are, instead of lumping them together with other kinds of non-existing factors that would eventually cause distress in the situations if they are taken too seriously...



eh... I am not trying to write some philosophical shit or trying to be Aunt Agony, I'm just writing things out so that I can have a better grasp at what I have been trying to understand the past few days... and it seriously helps, you should try it too. :X



thank you for reading.

can someone drop a mass of boulder onto my elder brother for me please?

:)


today's a special special day...


so it's FINALLY over... it being the assessment period. my elective projs (sculpture/ceramics) have not been graded yet though. but the lecturer, being a super nice german (i think) guy, decided that grading would be a week after our assessment period. and I was planning to go back to school tomorrow to finish up some 30 sketches required but realised that it wouldn't be possible because there would be assessment for the next batch of students...

anyway, HELLO TO 2 MONTHS OF HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :X

yep I'm really really glad they're here.
and that also means... the (usually futile) start of hunting for a PT job. :p

and the weather is really nice today... it had rained in the early morning and I was greeted by grey skies and cool air when I woke to the silly cookie monster's sms wishing me a happy first year anniversary... :)

as gloomy as the day may look like, I'm grateful for the cool weather... rain doesn't necessarily mean dampening of spirits you know. today's a day too special to allow that to happen :p

I'm gonna be having dinner with him later...


<3 <3

there's always a price that needs to be paid before one finally has the grasp of what he/she had been waiting in much anticipation for.

and in my case, it's shit loads of stress...


arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh




okay back to work.

lavender dreams...

I can't believe I just heard a line of lyrics from a song on radio that went:


"what are you doing tonight?
I wish I could be, a fly on your wall"



.....

yep so I did a search on google (what are you doing tonight? i wish i could be, a fly on your wall lyrics) and it turned out to be something by clay aiken.

and then I decided I shouldn't be surprised at all.

my room smells like a florist's...

waking up and falling asleep have been difficult these few days; especially on the days where there's nothing much to look forward to.


the days? long, tiring and dreary...

"...papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed
here today, forgot tomorrow.
here besides the news of holy war and holy need
ours is just a little sorrowed talk..."

i miss you

Visuals for thought.



Antony Gormley



learning to think
- my most favourite one... the relationship between the space and live sized cast iron men blew me away on first sight. surreal and scary... yet intriguing at the same time huh?



land, sea, air
- why do we not have shores like this here? again... live sized cast iron men (app. 189cm)



european field
- 40,000 terracotta 6-10cm tall figures... -___-!



filed for british isles
- there were several different exhibitions done with the same 40,000 terracotta figures...



another place
- 100 live sized cast iron men were placed randomly on the shores of this beach... when the tide came in, the water was until their waists.








more?