FUDj@!k!C!@$#!@$$#$!!
ALMOST BROKE THE 3RD PAIR OF GLASSES. NOW IT'S ALL BENT AND I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE SHOP FOR THE 3RD TIME THIS MONTH TO HAVE IT FIXED.!@#@!#k$l@k!$<
GOTTA STOP KNEELING THEM.
high annoyance also caused by a certain person's unappreciativeness.

ALL LINED UP...


dec 21 ... mom's bday
dec 22 ... tang yuan jie!
dec 23 ... family day @ sentosa
dec 24 ... christmas bbq @ sam's place
dec 25 ... christmas day
dec 26 ... 2yrs&2mths anniversary!
dec 31 ... wedding dinner/chalet
jan 03 ... school reopens
jan 08 ... stasis 8 (?)
jan 09 ... broken temple 1 (?)
jan 24 ... backstreet boys LOL
jan 27 ... dream theatre 20th Anniversary Tour 2006
jan 29 ... bintan
jan 30 ... bintan
jan 31 ... bintan
feb 05 ... mayhem Asian Legion Tours 2006
feb 23 ... oasis Asian Tour 2006


MONEY, PLS START FALLING FROM MY CEILING NOW.

disagree but it's probably true, I'm horrid for a friend.
let go, let go, let go...

it's like a very bad debt that had been written off... but it still freaking gets to you. it comes back occasionally with a vengeance. they are hateful and it's hateful being this way too but i can't seem to get over it. sometimes holidays become too much time and energy on your hands. stupid shit. i guess this is what happens. when people are once too close to each other.

these stupid relations.

aftermath:

HOLY

SHIT!!!!!!!!!


* very important item to buy - simplified chinese/english full picture dictionary.

one more to strike off the to-do list; yes, I have finally found a kid to torture this evening... well it's not much of a salary but I'm kind of looking forward to it because the kid has only attended FOUR months of kindergarten and is starting primary school next year. AND THE FAMILY JUST MOVED FROM CHINA. so we're just gonna do english. there's this ANTICIPATION. of wanting to know WHAT HOW WHERE WHY WHEN WHO EVERYTHING. even the 'just moved from china' part isn't quite worrying enough. am I making sense? because the heat is starting to get to me

couldn't sleep. once in a little while these feelings unlock and get themselves scattered all over. it has been some time since I blogged or wrote or spoke about them because of conflicting issues factors feelings principles so at the end of it someone something would go Run along now, back to where you belong righteously, according to the rest of the world. it happens when you start respecting every point of view, you kind of lose your own and the defination of you. it happens when you start feeling the kind of feeling where you feel like you could be worse off when compared to the rest of the world, you lose the want to need to acknowledge how you're really feeling. and when these things start happening, the world kind of crumbles because you've lost yourself even before the crumbling started

there are only certain things in life happening to people whom I have casual relations with that could make me cry for them, with them. the above mentioned happens to be one of the very few

DOES ANYONE WANT TO BUY zoukout 2005 TICKETS?

each ticket is being sold at sistic for $40 (inclusive of ticket fee) but a friend of mine has them for $34 each. i'm only promoting this for her because we go more than a decade back... well GO SPREAD THE NEWS! any discount is a good discount. and let me know if you want any

thanks

it is a horrible, horrible habit of mine to want to have published literature sound like freaking poetry. or anything else that no one else can possibly imagine how a description would look or sound like with those crazy words.

this time round they (the vocals) sound distant and withdrawn, like the command of a dream being in sync with the depths of breathing.

where the hell did that come from? it's an album review dammit, not a lyric/poetry weaving contest...

thanks so damn much to people who made my freaking day today.

excluding you dearie <3

just finished watching a weird ass movie titled May. it's got this weird ass plot about a girl who has a lazy eye and her mom made her wear a pirate patch since young and because of that she had no friends so her mom said If you can't have one, make one. LOL. then ta-da her mom's best friend (a hand made doll kept in a glass case) became her daughter's. she grew into a teenager (her parents were conveniently left out of the scene) and worked at an animal hospital. well anyway they told of her obsession of some guy and fetish of his hands who ditched her in the end because she was being way too weird ass and she pieced fetishes one with two and three and four and five together, and the part time seamstress made her own outfit, borrowed surgery instruments from the hospital and on halloween night, visited one-five, cut off hands, ears, torso, neck and legs. so she took the parts all home in a cooler box, sewed it all together, made the doll a face and clothes. well she was called amy (may jumbled up) and missing eyes. no surprise, the psycho took a pair of scissors and dug her own lazy eye out. the closing scene had Amy stroking May with those hands she had been so obsessed with.

come to think of it, amy looked pretty weird because she had no hips. anyway, there were lots more crazy gory odd scenes... videoezy has gotten much better with their collection. whoever would have thought! radiohead, iron maiden, AC/DC, IGGY POP and metallica ETC ETC ETC dvds for rent? and this weird ass movie May too.

today is a bad day to be attempting at reviewing any music at all. everything is either far too sharp or mediocre or muddy or whiney. must be due to this throb throb throb at the back of my head since noon

neon nothingness... i like

quote-worthy:

"Prof Boldrin said: 'Like parasites, publishers own the copyright to the learned papers which they publish. Notice, the creative work was done by others (researchers) and funded by yet others (like universities). Yet publishers get to sell back that copyright (as journals) at incredible prices to the same universities.'"

Ü

there is much to do and to be done

- phone tuition agencies to express displeasure in registering with them
- phone freaking ntucinc0me to put a stop to some dependent's protection scheme that they took consent to draft and establish from silence
- vacuum and CLEAN room of permanent mess (what's the point you say)
- rid of unnecessary items in room for more space
(who's the closet garang guni?)
- arrange with serene to get books back
- review all 3 albums (!!!!!)
- arrange for MAC&CHEESE feast soon with the girls
- bug dathamonga until they give in to their fan's wishes...
or until they severe all ties with me.
- compete with time and obtain driving license ASAP
- dump over dried potpourri and flowers for new bouquets
- change bass guitar strings when there is spare cash, finally please
- bring mom to walking culture
- force self to work further on wax and paint
- think about and get shivvani's b'day present
- find One student to tutor
- reformat brothers' computer
- GO ICE SKATING

sam is due back here in about 5 days' time... mmaaaaybe... just maybe... I could persuade her to help check the last one off my list. well we would need 2 others to join so that it would make a nice unlimited skate time package...

and then there is THE homecoming to prepare for too... but that's next month.
CAN'T FREAKING WAIT ALREADY.

by the way, the current exhibition in the earl lu gallery is a sorry excuse for works of antony gormley's. *disappointed*

it's a record. 2 full strands of white hair within a month.
at this rate, the record could be easily broken


hate. i hate. it's so easy

hate hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE

hello to 2 and a half months (+/-) of sitting around and generally doing everything that I want to do and doing nothing that I don't want to do Ü

that's the payback for having being in academic hell for 4 entire months

jacq,

lemme give you a quickquick update...


today, after being semi recovered from the (OF ALL TIMES IT HAD TO BE NOW !@@$%##!) flu, my foot found its s&m way against a pipe in the dark room and now the fourth toe on the right has swelled up half its normal size. so it is back to limping again (don't ask), only on a different foot

currently, there is 1 photog report to finish and print, 1 theory essay to finish and print, 1 proposal to edit and print, 1 theory presentation to get over with, possibly a hundred photo prints to be portfolio-ed, 168 more hours to continuously fry my brains for inspiration, and 1 sugar powdered chocolate filled donut to finish :p

yes,
IT'S THE TIME OF THE YEARRRRRRRR......


lemme update again when it's over kay? Ü

this is a little late but...


23sept05 - thanks linda&farhan&sha/bf&darren&Regina&kaze&MOM&brothers for potluck/bbq food and equipment and entertainment!!! thanks dearie for your expertise in starting the fire even though so far away! :D and thanks to everyone who attempted at starting the damn fire LOL. thanks linda&farhan&darren for the absolutely crazy insane present... THOUSANDS OF SHOELACES IN SLIPKNOTS BUNDLING THE BAG I WANTED TO GET FOR JAY - guess now i will have to get something else! :p thanks KAZE for nightmarebeforechristmas-see-already-wanna squeeze-like-hell pillow, really nice smelling pretty bouquet of flowers and emily purse! thanks linda&kaze for the photoshoots LOL. thank you thank you all so much for coming and making the gathering possible and successful!

27/28sept05 - THANKS linda and darren for *surprising* me with a cake half to midnight... you guys are too predictable la. and the cake also! LOL :X sorry if i scared the nightlights out of you both... :X but THANKS THANKS THANKS for staying until 2am talking shit in my room even though linda was literally falling asleep on the bed. THANKS. you two are too too tooo sweet. :D

thanks mom for the birthday money,
thanks to my dearestdearestdearest for earphones from australia! FINALLY. :D
thanks younger brother for the GREEN GYM BALL
thanks older brother for the james -surname- cd???
thanks shivvani for the birthday lunch treat!
thanks shivvani&mom for the nina ricci perfume!
thanks schnyp for sending the photo albums back LOL

thanks for all the birthday wishes, NATASHJSHSJA (next year wish me one month in advanced ok LOL), SAM, JQ, LIUXUN, KAZE, DEARIE, SHIVVANI, REGINA, SHA, GALE, HERMAN, WC, EUPHE, WILSON .... :D

thanks everyone for having made this year's birthday such a beautiful beautiful one. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. <3 I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. :D


oh and thanks to me, CHEAP BUY AT DOROTHY PERKINS, $120 dropped to $79 dropped to $39. CHEAPCHEAPCHEAP.


enjoy the last bit of children's day!! :D

hiatus. until i feel like it again


disarray of emotions...

the very essence of relationships of any kind... would be that of when you're at *quotes BD* the very brink of insanity, you know without a doubt that he or she would be there to listen, share, emphatize and comfort. without bearing judgement of any kind towards you especially. and if you know you have someone like that, congratulate yourself for being so fortunate and do not forget to be appreciative... <3

oh and this new layout (approx. 3 hours spent on sourcing and editing original) is dedicated to you, misterSillier :)

i've been a middle person for the longest time, these unnecessary complications take up far too much room in the space of thought. schizophrenia seemingly plagues everyone within the reach of mine, only the middle person sees the acts of two sidedness, and sometimes more.

just what the hell is this obliquity for? do they find it fucking entertaining to keep up with it?

I don't.


out of sight, out of mind.

disconnection best describes it
incoherence
the constant breach in train of thoughts
escapade
the blank of a crowd
a juncture most inappropriate for one
detachment
for a need to find
self.

hello

i wanna be normal people

before I leave the keyboard to nurse my neck and hunger and thirst and ankle in front of the TV, the 2-day slipknot event...

FELT LIKE 5 FREAKING MINUTES.

corey is definitely charismatic... I suppose all of them are, having played in a band like that for such a long period of time already, only that craig had his zipper on his mask zipped throughout (but he decided to sit in for the press conference!), joey answered only a few questions, mike had just One word to say (check www.pure-rock.net for that AND MORE), sid decided he would concentrate on fidgeting/doodling; locking and unlocking his fingers, staring intently at photographers and creating a masterpiece of the male organ on his pad with a pen... uhh the rest were brooding or dead or asleep or drunk, could not really tell... o.O joey was nice enough though, to stay behind after the press conference ended, for autographs and picture taking...

concert was okay, I feel evil for saying this but I definitely felt a whole lot more watching their videos compared to experiencing them live. perhaps it was because I had a different kind of company then... *wistful* but thinking back to how corey kept mentioning that bringing music to the people is what they had come to do, the 'other things' were not really up to them to decide... could not help but to feel that they had held back some during the show. anywayyy manymany thanks to the people who were there with me...

kaze for looking out for me while being in the pit together,
dew&eaddy&friends for the great company! + the storage space in the van,
talon for talking about star wars and its relation to slipknot...
darren for being bag boy (most of the time) today
and hello new friend, selina! like she reads this la.

of course LAMC PRODUCTIONS, for making all of this happen.

YES I AM A VERY VERY GRATEFUL GIRL.

maybe pictures later, HUNGRY NOW...

what can I say? life these days is mostly about gritting teeth and making believe that everything is okay. or will be okay.

all of a sudden I was reminded of how I used to adore watching movies by myself in theatres; early mornings, mid weekday afternoons. when tickets were still cheap that is. to be absorbed into the movie entirely.
better still if I could relate

because for that few hours

I could pretend that I was actually living another life

3 broken hearts and 3 different stories in such a short span of time all once with dreams of the future together and thought they would be one forever. don't they all. maybe,
shit happens.
things change.

feelings become casual
sometimes more than casual to the liking

perhaps the world would come to a stop tomorrow

perhaps my world would
or yours
underneath all of this.
too busy being alive to bother?
about the secrets you could uncover.



nobody ever said it was going to be easy...


and so it is
the shorter story
no love, no glory...
no hero in her sky.

whenever you're ready, dry your eyes and leave the baggage behind
you know we will all be here, exactly where you left us at
waiting for your come back...

today, I FEEL SO LOVED.*warmishsnugglishfeeling*

well here's to new real friendships, Ü
old real friendships, Ü
and my everloveliestsweetestsweetest boyfriend. <3

for the first time in my entire life, the want.the NEED with a constant nag. for another to be granted a certain something has never been greater.

anything to let things feel better...

Crash the movie = Beautiful.

linda gave me yet another gift from her trip to Bangkok (see pictures above). so nice of her! and apparently she wore it out to school today so that she could give it to me. o.O!? anyway it's prettypretty and brightened up my rotten day a little... *appreciates the gift* Ü oh and henna! front at little india, the back at home. Ü and don't mind the background clutter......






one of my not-so-many shots taken last friday night... this is of MSC at the arena. the lights... the lights!! and HWM(hardwaremag) readers look out for me in the aug'05 issue... randomrandom. it just dawned upon me that I've yet to change all of the uploaded image links in my older entries... oh bore.


a part of the heart
the safe haven
crumbles
bit by bit
every minute.

in spite of everything bad that could possibly happen happening now, cats still make me happy. even if not as much as they should.


I am currently curious about a different blog space

amidst everything else.

the past week had been Spend A Lot Week. and no thanks to my long time gold sneakers slowly dying on me as days go by. temporary materialistic contentments have brought a toll on on my pocket(s)... it is now either a new and BETTER PAYING PT job or back to the good ol' scrimp and save days.

i feel so sick i think i'm gonna puke like that drunkard did in the alley from team america and then die

the stars must have been wrongly aligned today. ANGRY.


1103
left house forgetting movie vouchers. SCREW YOU CAPITALISTS!

1330
WHAT FREAKING INTERVIEW!?

1730
sat ass for 10 whole minutes at the wrong theatre and only realised until the real seat owners turned up.

1952
SUNGLASSES MISSING!

1958
found sunglasses in wrong theatre but with a leg broken :(

2100
finally headed home after walking up and down a street twice to look for sunglasses shop but found it to be closed.

2205
horrible sore throat, feverish.


well
grand finale of this shit filled day; DIARRHOEA upon reaching home.

and thanks for reading,
i'm gonna fuck off to bed now.

you know you have lost all respect for a certain someone when 90% of the total number of 'conversations' with him or her are usually heard/could be heard by your neighbours as well.

where do I start? the week so far had been super eventful and YES I finally got through d2pay's weird ass system and MY books will arrive a week or two from now YAY!YAY!YAY!YAY!YAY! though it's dinner now but I feel like I need to rant so here goes

yesterday was the day of phone calls; not that I minded them because
Waste Time was the only item on my agenda. morning was a call to sony about the mini dvds+/-rw and how they would not open in my computer yadayadayada and then to LAMC productions regarding the confirmed slipknot VIP ticket again then a call returned from sony and then as promised *beams* dearest phoned to chat and in the middle of that charlene phoned to ask if I wanted to go see neil gaiman with her (YOU CRAZY GIRL YOU!) and then a while after this hardwarezone person phoned about some gadgetgirl guy you me contest at the heeren shops that I am supposed to be at this sunday YIKES and I only signed up because I thought my friend would then stop bugging me about it SHEESH why do I not get THIS lucky in lottery!? not that I buy anyway..... back to topic, the prizes are VERY attractive though... let's see. okay just click here. then again that friend of mine's with HWZ so hmmmm... :X after that call dearest and I chattedchattedchatted and right after he hung up this guy from the sunday times phoned me to inform me of an interview/photog session at SPH on saturday and... PR may just appear in the papers on sunday! so yep sunday is... hello Public day. *beams again* and allllllll of that in a day... oh yes and paul gilbert's concert too PR MAY just cover the event, adverts concert video passes yadayada. and then there is SBOTB05 to cover and auditions start this weekend PR tshirts to buy and print shoes to buy in bulk shoes to print and paint oh and not forgetting my wonderful wonderful studio space in school. LOL. HELLO AIR CON!!!!! the space is looking a tad bleak though but hey it's only the 4th freaking day of school. come next week it's gonna look less white washed and maybe my faggot lecturer would stop using my space for his dumb ass student-lecturer meetings because that space would be filled and with no room for his silly ass. HE DID IT NOT ONCE BUT TWICE OKAY. and refused to move even when friend and I (we share the same space) went back to the studio with packed food for lunch... tsk faggot. anywayy

there is just so much to be done and to happen. ex voc told me few days back there might be a gig for us on the 22nd. not confirmed though he says it is but he had not gotten back to me with DETAILS that I requested for so yes... nothing confirmed and I'll leave it at that. oh damn and my BTT is long overdue... NEED TIME TO GO TO CLASSES! damn YCK for being so out of the way. and gotta spill the idea of trip to australia end semester to parents soon can't drag any longerrrrrrr SIGH if he were here maybe things would be less hectic and more organised... then again he has his own problems to settle think about and and.... well just manymany <3 for him in the midst of all of this.

friends... lend me your energy!

WOWOWEEWEZERAARWEWEWOWWWW BOOKS!NICE!BOOKS!

*SALIVATES*

this could probably qualify for the stupidest antic of the year... seriously, people ask the craziest questions when it comes to food.


middle aged guy looking sort of agonized walks into sandwich bar. middle aged guy reads menu boards for quite a while before deciding to speak...

guy: Hmmm... *frowns* big meal deals. what's a big meal deal ah?
my colleague: oh that's actually the only set meals available here and each one consists of...
guy: *cuts her off* big meal deal... HMMMM (very serious looking) do you have a middle sized meal deal? a middle sized deal? not big one?
my colleague: ???????


LOL. and then the rest of us were back in the kitchen, with stifled laughter...

special day...

wistful thinking.

before:
disrupted eating habits
disrupted sleeping habits
(almost) disrupted emotional balance
disrupted social etiquette

after:
disrupted eating habits continued
disrupted sleeping habits - less sleep in spite of fatigue
disrupted social etiquette now habitual


am STILL apprehensive even though the slog's finally over, the one month slog. and it's worse than (see: before)... the wait for results. explains the sleeplessness maybe.

whoever would have known that now, the once Oh hello o'levels let's get you done and out of my life ASAP me... would think about self worth as a student half as much as i think about my boyfriend in a day.

such joy.

wow.
whoever would have thought of this?
out of cardboard boxes.


and i love my boyfriend too

no matter the amount of shit that befalls US.
US okay?
no i
no you

just us.

9 more months. 15 if he gets that extension.



if you see me on the streets
or anywhere else
these days
and noticed that i had put on weight visibly. or lost weight. it would mean the days hadn't been easy

and assurance is important.

and then everything adds up
fitting like a conspiracy to devastate

to an indescribable
overwhelmingly
warped
sense of




melancholy

direction = where?
to think I was so damn sure of it once upon a time

hundertwasser attended only 3 months of art school and only minutes ago it dawned upon me that the reason why it was so could just be because,
institutionalised art will be institutionalised art.
because, he detested even the idea of a fundamental dip. in architecutre made necessary to build a living/working space.

he was however, Very responsible with his structures though.


what now?

Desolation.

10 minutes ago i woke to the rattling of windows
loose hinges of shut doors demanding attention
howls of wind swept all around and coming to halts in corners
and the mad tinkling of windchimes in the living room/corridor

right about 10 minutes after, sheets and sheets and sheets of rain just started to pour... and pour and pour. dark and wet outside. watch the dependency of rain on wind for its motion.
steady silent-like
with the absence of light and noise

why hadn't there been rain during daytime like this, ever?


so i'm gonna head back to bed
and experience indulgence in its purest form.






wish you were here
not here like 'here before i know it'
but here like... now.

from the day one leaves the safety of a womb, the respect for elders is taught to the young by... no, not other young ones but other adults. and as the young grows up, that gets fixed in his or her head and recognised as part of
'the way of life', in situations wrong or right.

well, not anymore

that place of respect elders naturally and effortlessly obtain through their nephews, sons, nieces, daughters or anyone else younger than they are should not be abused. if there had not been enough sense in them to show the least bit of respect for the ones who (are supposed) respect them, why should they deserve that comfort space? sure, they probably had 'MORE SALT THAN YOU HAVE HAD RICE' but that still gives them no right at all to be all out unreasonable, STILL pointless after a 30 minute lecture and behave like they have a mentality of a 1 yr old kid.

cross the lines and push the limits, that space they once had go as easily as they came.


anyway, he left for australia again last night and yes, i am in a very foul mood.

a little update

been spending lots of time with bf, him being on the week long emergency break. and also been doing hospital visits every other day... it's been so long. condition still nowhere near the comfort zone. NUH nurses/doctors/others more or less condemned. classmate's dad's recent passing on.


feels like i'm surrounded by death

like the season of doom has been called upon us

the Interpreter made me cry.


I didn't know if it was the rather subliminal messages that the movie seemed to have - of how cruel reality actually is and can be, of how sometimes things so small often hinder us from realising the bigger picture. or if it was the horrible horrible news i received just before the movie started

perhaps, all of the above.



he's coming home friday night.

please let it all be okay

the condition of the computer is causing a superfluous worry, especially how the speakers are starting to crack. time to get the partition done and then yet another Reformat. yes, the end of time all over again.

things way overdue:
1) the purchase of a comfortable chair
2) router set up
3) brothers' Reformat
4) a guilt free shopping spree (read; NEED A JOB)
and how could I ever forget,
5) my perpetually overdue bill. ha ha



attempt to churn out novelty - a flop

http://www.polyguide.net/petition/index.php

please sign

wake to the still of the night
the literal still of the night...
muse about the dreams you may be having
look the furthest into the horizon
find a sea that ends with steel and concrete.
head back to bed lonely.
unnecessary, you advised...
and I know.

i miss you, and that's all there is to it.




No early motorists on the roads unlike the ones that cruised the nearby expressway back at the old flat during mornings like this.
Absolute stillness, street lamps unflickering, the steady small of breeze, me in the company of the early november on repeat.

mr.perturb enjoying company of I.


a tangle of thoughts
a labyrinthine

words become incompetent

and I just realised a few moments ago that it's actually friday today. hooray for you party people...

3 more days of consistant and constant art making then I'll be free from it all for the next 2-3 months. I CAN FINALLY SEE LIGHT.............. seeping in between my workload. and if from all the posts about my bitching on school work is starting to make like i do not enjoy art at all, it's true..... to an extent. I mean, art with a criteria (not the renaissance period anymore please), with a 'project' brief, with a thou-must-eatbreathesleepthink-art-24/7-or-thou-shalt-die deadline... just does not do good for both body and head. anyway

all i have to do now is to keep myself from retching bile with all that work (not A LOT actually, just more than the usual lot.) piled up to my throat


like it or not, everything comes with a price to pay.

and when everything seem to be at their worst, you always come around to make it all beautiful again...

<3

what makes an artist, if not without a struggle?

one thing that i am grateful for today is how i had never chosen printmaking to major in. because if i did i would probably have skin cancer 10 years down the printmaking road.

things have been getting difficult of late, with so much work to finish... and everything else. mix those with the emotional demon inside all of us and you get a pressure cooker. waiting to break down. wish things were different. and i wish he isn't so far away. at least then i would have someone whom i can really talk to. and have everything made alright again.

there's nothing cliche about it; as a couple spends more time together, the more either of them will take the other for granted. for even the littlest things to be done/done for the other, will not be taken into consideration or appreciation as these little things probably don't count as much as they had once before. quarrels are old news; either of them would rather shut up or go to sleep or act nonchalant about it all and let the other rave and rant than talk things out. but what can be done, such a simple tool - communication, has become so unimportant and sometimes financially difficult to achieve. no longer existing are the long conversations into the night even with school or work the day after, especially if it was to have things ironed out because of (usually) a stupid dispute. long and let's just talk for the sake of talking phone calls become so rare. the attempt to show concern for the other no longer serves such a great desire... simply because it has happened far too often. why, there always comes a point of time where we all get sick and tired of the common ground.


thanks so much, the very last bit of my sanity has been ripped apart.

if you've lost your appetite for good food or comfort food alone, watch discovery travel&living in the nights... AUGH

the shows they just go on and on and on and on... chocolate cake with melted choc in icing and fudge on top, mashed potatoes, and then mashed potatoes mixed with butter, egg and tuna bits from a can, to be shaped into small patties, refrigerated and then stir fried...you get 'fishcakes', colourful tasty looking spanish food, risotto with egg and creme and chicken bits, melted bleu cheese on baked potatoes and vegs, GRILLED bananas with fudge and cream!!! chicken stew with fried mashed potato balls, oh my gosh.......

i SWEAR they do it on purpose.

A!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!H!HH!H!

and I was just idle chatting with sha yesterday afternoon with freaking speakers turned on so damn loud at mc@!$#@!#@!#donald's then the convo went on to our future gallery-performanceSpace-cafe, it suddenly dawned upon me that...... performing arts, visual arts. east, west. cookie monster, cookie maker. dogs, cats. like how jigsaw puzzle pieces eventually form the big picture, they all fit hand in hand, one weird way or another :)

it makes me reallyreally happy to talk to others about our future...

it gets so damn hard during the nights and times spent alone


and the things we do to keep ourselves sane.

my sunshine has left the building

<3

PMS sucks shit.

indeed, it's the time of the year (semester) again where I'll have to eventually draw up a list of TO DO's and RESOLVED's then have all of them checked in time for 11th April. that's about 4 and a half weeks away...

tell me tell me tell me just how the hell am i gonna finish 100+30+2 paintings, 3 deconstructed objects, accompanied by stacks of artist references/sketches/support studies/documentation for every project?


did i mention that i love my boyfriend?
...thanks dearie, for having all that faith in me :)

Dear ST Interactive team

go screw yourselves and your subscription charges for online news reports please. having provided free service for a decade is not a valid reason to start charging leh.


Thank you

Meaning is everywhere - literally at your fingertips - but you must seek it out.




Joan Bunning

jacq... i'll be wishing on every star i see for you okay?
and you know we've got your back, whenever you need it... <3

sometimes on bus/train rides i space out and think/hear nothing but the constant stream of beautiful noise in my head that i've stored in a cd and used it on a discman to accompany me through the period of travel; times like this it NEVER fails to amaze me, just how horribly good music can get... well the odd side to this is that, with every renewed realisation, i'd start smiling. to myself.

anywayy i've just helped my younger bro upload a song and put a script in his template and did some edits at the same time... few days back i lent him my discman and a CD, and he called it Violent music. point is, he liked it and decided without hesitation, on the song he chose to have playing on his blog.

*grin*

3rd entry on the same topic and SAF has yet to make up its mind about his posting... tsk tsk. anyway, he's been RE ordered, this time to do his NS in queensland australia. probably administrative work or some sort... i'm not really sure. but he hasn't got much of a choice over this because apparrently, there hadn't been a sufficient number of people applying for overseas attachments, and suay suay my beloveddddd kena recommended by his !@#!@#!@?#@!$#>!@# boss at his current office... so it's kind of like an emergency post, to take over the one who is supposed to come back to SG. fuckedupfuckedupfuckedupfuckedupfuckedupfuckedup.

on a lighter note
oakley is going to be cheap over there and he's pretty excited about it all while feeling like a ball being kicked around, because of everything new that he'll be experiencing. i'm quite happy for him with that because it never hurts to see more of the world

and my computer feels SO cleaned of dust dirt and rubbish; it went through the 99999999th reformat today. this year we're actually having a grill/steamboat reunion dinner at home because they've decided that they'll take their annual holiday at sentosa instead. they set off tomorrow... along with me of course but i get to come home tomorrow night while they allow boredom to turn their brains into mush and don't get to recuperate until saturday. waiting for father to return now and just how lucky can one get, falling ill 2 days before chinese new year?

friends who find my younger brother amusing, i taught him how to blog... YES he now has an account with blogspot. *proud grin* in case you were wondering, my bf asked what youropy was, he just went 'i dunno!!! something i made up lor...'

gong xi fa cai everyone

i guess it's pretty much confirmed and arranged, that he's gonna be flying end of feb, early march. the interview was yesterday and 2 most important questions were asked, on top of others;
1) are you ready to leave end of this month?
2) would you like to be posted to the USA instead?
he had answered NO to both questions. then today he received an email order to stand post in Arizona, USA for an entire year.

how fucked up is that?

my boyfriend was recommended a post in australia for 1 yr without holidays.

i'll have to live on memories if that really happens

"when everything falls apart,
the emptiness leaves a mark..."

- keepsake

..."i was just dreaming that u were here.. n that we were asleep together.."


I dream about that all the freaking time too... these dreams, they're usually stored in my sandcastles that I build... sometimes, they appear in my sleep at night and there, I get to re-live them in a real and also an untrue kind of way... but one thing that I know for sure; all it will take is time, for these dreams to be spun and candy coated into our shared little world of reality that belongs to us and us alone... <3


z. bedtime! :D