the Interpreter made me cry.


I didn't know if it was the rather subliminal messages that the movie seemed to have - of how cruel reality actually is and can be, of how sometimes things so small often hinder us from realising the bigger picture. or if it was the horrible horrible news i received just before the movie started

perhaps, all of the above.



he's coming home friday night.

please let it all be okay

the condition of the computer is causing a superfluous worry, especially how the speakers are starting to crack. time to get the partition done and then yet another Reformat. yes, the end of time all over again.

things way overdue:
1) the purchase of a comfortable chair
2) router set up
3) brothers' Reformat
4) a guilt free shopping spree (read; NEED A JOB)
and how could I ever forget,
5) my perpetually overdue bill. ha ha



attempt to churn out novelty - a flop

http://www.polyguide.net/petition/index.php

please sign

wake to the still of the night
the literal still of the night...
muse about the dreams you may be having
look the furthest into the horizon
find a sea that ends with steel and concrete.
head back to bed lonely.
unnecessary, you advised...
and I know.

i miss you, and that's all there is to it.




No early motorists on the roads unlike the ones that cruised the nearby expressway back at the old flat during mornings like this.
Absolute stillness, street lamps unflickering, the steady small of breeze, me in the company of the early november on repeat.

mr.perturb enjoying company of I.


a tangle of thoughts
a labyrinthine

words become incompetent

and I just realised a few moments ago that it's actually friday today. hooray for you party people...

3 more days of consistant and constant art making then I'll be free from it all for the next 2-3 months. I CAN FINALLY SEE LIGHT.............. seeping in between my workload. and if from all the posts about my bitching on school work is starting to make like i do not enjoy art at all, it's true..... to an extent. I mean, art with a criteria (not the renaissance period anymore please), with a 'project' brief, with a thou-must-eatbreathesleepthink-art-24/7-or-thou-shalt-die deadline... just does not do good for both body and head. anyway

all i have to do now is to keep myself from retching bile with all that work (not A LOT actually, just more than the usual lot.) piled up to my throat


like it or not, everything comes with a price to pay.

and when everything seem to be at their worst, you always come around to make it all beautiful again...

<3

what makes an artist, if not without a struggle?

one thing that i am grateful for today is how i had never chosen printmaking to major in. because if i did i would probably have skin cancer 10 years down the printmaking road.

things have been getting difficult of late, with so much work to finish... and everything else. mix those with the emotional demon inside all of us and you get a pressure cooker. waiting to break down. wish things were different. and i wish he isn't so far away. at least then i would have someone whom i can really talk to. and have everything made alright again.

there's nothing cliche about it; as a couple spends more time together, the more either of them will take the other for granted. for even the littlest things to be done/done for the other, will not be taken into consideration or appreciation as these little things probably don't count as much as they had once before. quarrels are old news; either of them would rather shut up or go to sleep or act nonchalant about it all and let the other rave and rant than talk things out. but what can be done, such a simple tool - communication, has become so unimportant and sometimes financially difficult to achieve. no longer existing are the long conversations into the night even with school or work the day after, especially if it was to have things ironed out because of (usually) a stupid dispute. long and let's just talk for the sake of talking phone calls become so rare. the attempt to show concern for the other no longer serves such a great desire... simply because it has happened far too often. why, there always comes a point of time where we all get sick and tired of the common ground.


thanks so much, the very last bit of my sanity has been ripped apart.

if you've lost your appetite for good food or comfort food alone, watch discovery travel&living in the nights... AUGH

the shows they just go on and on and on and on... chocolate cake with melted choc in icing and fudge on top, mashed potatoes, and then mashed potatoes mixed with butter, egg and tuna bits from a can, to be shaped into small patties, refrigerated and then stir fried...you get 'fishcakes', colourful tasty looking spanish food, risotto with egg and creme and chicken bits, melted bleu cheese on baked potatoes and vegs, GRILLED bananas with fudge and cream!!! chicken stew with fried mashed potato balls, oh my gosh.......

i SWEAR they do it on purpose.

A!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!H!HH!H!