disconnection best describes it
incoherence
the constant breach in train of thoughts
escapade
the blank of a crowd
a juncture most inappropriate for one
detachment
for a need to find
self.

hello

i wanna be normal people

before I leave the keyboard to nurse my neck and hunger and thirst and ankle in front of the TV, the 2-day slipknot event...

FELT LIKE 5 FREAKING MINUTES.

corey is definitely charismatic... I suppose all of them are, having played in a band like that for such a long period of time already, only that craig had his zipper on his mask zipped throughout (but he decided to sit in for the press conference!), joey answered only a few questions, mike had just One word to say (check www.pure-rock.net for that AND MORE), sid decided he would concentrate on fidgeting/doodling; locking and unlocking his fingers, staring intently at photographers and creating a masterpiece of the male organ on his pad with a pen... uhh the rest were brooding or dead or asleep or drunk, could not really tell... o.O joey was nice enough though, to stay behind after the press conference ended, for autographs and picture taking...

concert was okay, I feel evil for saying this but I definitely felt a whole lot more watching their videos compared to experiencing them live. perhaps it was because I had a different kind of company then... *wistful* but thinking back to how corey kept mentioning that bringing music to the people is what they had come to do, the 'other things' were not really up to them to decide... could not help but to feel that they had held back some during the show. anywayyy manymany thanks to the people who were there with me...

kaze for looking out for me while being in the pit together,
dew&eaddy&friends for the great company! + the storage space in the van,
talon for talking about star wars and its relation to slipknot...
darren for being bag boy (most of the time) today
and hello new friend, selina! like she reads this la.

of course LAMC PRODUCTIONS, for making all of this happen.

YES I AM A VERY VERY GRATEFUL GIRL.

maybe pictures later, HUNGRY NOW...

what can I say? life these days is mostly about gritting teeth and making believe that everything is okay. or will be okay.

all of a sudden I was reminded of how I used to adore watching movies by myself in theatres; early mornings, mid weekday afternoons. when tickets were still cheap that is. to be absorbed into the movie entirely.
better still if I could relate

because for that few hours

I could pretend that I was actually living another life

3 broken hearts and 3 different stories in such a short span of time all once with dreams of the future together and thought they would be one forever. don't they all. maybe,
shit happens.
things change.

feelings become casual
sometimes more than casual to the liking

perhaps the world would come to a stop tomorrow

perhaps my world would
or yours
underneath all of this.
too busy being alive to bother?
about the secrets you could uncover.



nobody ever said it was going to be easy...


and so it is
the shorter story
no love, no glory...
no hero in her sky.

whenever you're ready, dry your eyes and leave the baggage behind
you know we will all be here, exactly where you left us at
waiting for your come back...

today, I FEEL SO LOVED.*warmishsnugglishfeeling*

well here's to new real friendships, Ü
old real friendships, Ü
and my everloveliestsweetestsweetest boyfriend. <3

for the first time in my entire life, the want.the NEED with a constant nag. for another to be granted a certain something has never been greater.

anything to let things feel better...