the christmas songs at takashimaya
they are definitely getting to my head

being gone for more than a month, I've learned the appreciation and awareness of the smallest and littlest things in life all over again, as I had during the past decade of academic years. it is now clear to me that this is absolutely inevitable during situations where one is desperately scratching and clawing his or her way out of the company in a corner with Monotony.

I remember falling
I remember marching
Like a one man army
Through the blaze I remember coughing
I believe in something
I don't wanna remember falling
for their lies

- One Man Army (OLP)

"...what's become clear to me, is that metal confronts what we would rather ignore. it celebrates what we are often denied. it indulges what we fear most. and that's why metal will always be a culture of outsiders."

- Sam Dunn, METAL: A Headbanger's Journey

of all the things I hate in life

I hate being put in a repressive situation most

tonight

imprint

tonight
I remember a lecture out of a photography module
this is probably one of the few pieces of historical events I have thought a lot about and am truly able to identify with. 1827 was the year that contained the 8 hours of exposure needed for the very first photograph to develop. we were shown the image of the actual photograph and it hit me, it was from that exact moment on, portraiture had started to evolve into what is now commonly shot with cameras in a studio with professional crew and equipment. more importantly, it was when people came to realise that they could be real and stay alive on paper, of what is called a photograph.

and for some reason unknown
it's bugging me tonight

during her first visit to the house, reggie mentioned she finally understood why I'd spent so much more time being here working on the given projs than to do the same at the studio space

today the coach said
OLI YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO PLAY IN A GAME SOON.
to which I replied
yes I am all set to spend some money.
BUGGER!!!!!!!!!@$#@ YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT!!!@$LK@!
O.O okok I know coach you don't have to shout so loud
OK. but yes that too, the spending money part.

hellloooooooo shoppinnnnnnnggggggg

I have just read and signed the online petition "Appeal and petition to stiffer sentence for Old Airport Road cat killer Wong Geng Thong". for those who can be bothered, please go to this webpage, take a look and consider signing. If what has been read below doesn't wrench your heart out and make you wish the fucker gets caught in a human sized meat mincing machine or the likes of that, please see a psychologist and seek medication.


To: Singaporeans

On 24 Aug, Wong Geng Thong, an air con technician was sentenced to serve 8 weeks in jail for torturing and killing a cat. This may not have been his first offense of this nature.

What he did:

1. Befriended a cat by feeding it then took it in his van to Blk 93A Jalan Dua off Old Airport Rd.

2. Tied a noose around the cat’s neck and lifted the wire to hang the cat by the neck.

3. Everytime the cat lost consciousness, Wong revived it by massaging its chest. He repeated this cruel act till the cat could not be revived anymore.

4. He then removed the wire noose, grabbed the cat by the neck and bashed it’s body against the wall several times.

5. Then he threw the cat’s body on the floor and kept kicking it.
All that he did in the car park was captured by a spy camera.



Cleaners in the area have found the grisly remains of 10 cats in the neighbourhood over the past 5 months which is what triggered a group of volunteers to put up the spy cameras. These volunteers, along with the help of animal welfare organizations, have taken the time, money and effort to find the perpetrator of these senseless and cruel acts.

Yet when Wong Geng Thong was caught, he was sentenced to only 2 months in jail for what he did despite the fact that the psychiatrist who examined Wong was concerned he might abuse people too.

Most serial killers and murderers start their macabre “career” by torturing and killing animals. If unchecked, the likelihood of them progressing to hurt and kill people is very high. (Please read article written by Lynn Lam, Today Online http://www.todayonline.com/articles/127238.asp).





Under the Animals & Birds Act, the maximum penalty for abusing an animal is a fine of $10,000 or a maximum jail term of 12 months, or both. Question is, what does it take to incur the maximum penalty? Doesn’t such a calculated and cruel act as seen in the case of Wong Geng Thong deserve the maximum penalty?

If you feel that Wong Geng Thong deserves a harsher or the maximum penalty for what he did, please do the following:

1) Sign this petition
2) Tell your friends about this and get them to sign the petition
3) Write a letter to:

ATTORNEY-GENERAL'S CHAMBERS
Address: 1 Coleman Street, #10-00, Singapore 179803

Tel: 63361411
Fax: 63325984
Website: http://www.agc.gov.sg
Email Address: agc@agc.gov.sg
(Please make sure your letter is polite and rational)

The SPCA is appealing for a harsher sentence for Wong but it’s not just the responsibility of the SPCA, they need the help and support of the public at large. We are all responsible for making our society a safer and better place to live in. Please do something today before it’s too late.

For more information and pictures of what the case is about, log on to this public Gmail account to download the files.

http://gmail.google.com
Username: CatKillerPetition
Password: Petition80

it seems like my mom has come to terms with me being involved with rugby though I have never really laid this part of my life out on the table with her before. my younger brother mentioned it accidentally few months back about me being in some club and I guess she's accepted the fact that her daughter's got a penchant for violent aggressive (in my own words, not hers) sports. today's training was fulfilling albeit tough. gonna be getting another bottle of antiseptic wash soon, great for minor cuts and scrapes, more importantly the reduction of allergy reaction from bloody grass pollen due to rolling about in it. no thanks to problematic skin...

well we discovered something amusing today. one of the girls has a tendency to aim for others' groins instead of hip bones in a tackle.

the team is considering purchasing groin guards for ladies

had been stocking up on art books over the past 2 weeks YES I AM PRETTY DAMN BROKE NOW and they have been bloody inspirational. something to kick start all the projects I have had in mind for so very long... this week had been good too, he's back where he should be at and it's also a week off from work for me. not any more energized than when work's consistent though as we have had/have activities planned from morn til night, I'm not complaining. IT'S ALL GOOOOOOOD. and my dearest little brother bought me sims 2 for XBOX today WOWWWEEEEEEEE. as a VeryEarlyBirthdayPresent. STILL waiting for the tv outside to be free so that I can try it out... need a tv in my room. and a new computer monitor.

any lobangs?

once the tv's in here I'll be able to hook the xbox up since no one uses it and that would mean tv+dvds+games *hyperventilates*

random: topic of the week - marriage <3

I LOVE BIRTHDAY FESTIVALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my idea of yum


can't figure out just what is it with me and extreme sports. sports featuring speed, height, danger, high level of physical exertion, highly specialized gear and spectacular stunts with the capacity of inducing an adrenaline rush in participants (as taken from wikipedia). it had been aggressive inline skating for years and years but I knew a long time back that I was going to have to let go of it sooner or later due to over strained knees wrists and back. I still love skating for its speed and the smoothness of it all despite rolling against gravity and friction... how I miss the feeling of being air borne.

so these days I had been dabbling with rugby (the alternative of aggro skating) and just this morning actually, I tried wakeboarding. OMG.......... but that is going to be one Seriously Expensive addiction if allowed to progress. 90 freaking bucks an hour. that's at least $270 each month if done weekly. :o

well I think this crazy need, itch, crave, want? for sports like this might be psychological. legally crazy. I remember always being Super psyched before every skate session. and right now, I can't seem to stop thinking about wakeboarding wakeboarding wakeboarding wakeboarding wakeboarding wakeboardinnnnnnnnnnnnnng. probably gonna bug my bro in a while to join me in playing basketball on skates TO GET WAKEBOARDING OUT OF MY HEAD

And the Lights in the Night Came Alive, mixed media
taken from part of a painting from a commissioned job in early April

on a totally irrelevant note,
isn't it nice when you're somebody's favourite teacher

Wandering stars
for whom it is reserved
the blackness
of darkness
forever

been rather quick to feeling down easily the past few days... too irritating, too full, too bloated, too achey, too itchy, too thirsty, too warm, too slow, too little, too loud, too lethargic, too messy, too naggy, too dusty, too lazy, too blotchy, too brass, too sleepy, too tired, too broke, too heavy, too soft, too noisy, too arrogant, too crowded, too tight, too hairy, too blur, too naughty, too busy, too boring, too nosey, too ignorant, too unmotivated.........

but you know in some magical way, somehow, he always manages to have them all dissolve into a faraway place called anywhere but here

sweetness. <3

such is the sad state of a silent nation

aggie misses you too

yumyumyumyumyumchompchompchomp

..."Nobody in this story, and no outfit or corporation, thank god, is based upon an actual person or outfit in the real world. But I can tell you this. As my journey through the pharmaceutical jungle progressed, I came to realise that, by comparison with the reality, my story was as tame as a holiday postcard."


- John le Carré

well that's 2 off my list...
- cocteau twins Lullabies to Violaine Vol 1 & Vol 2
- the smiths The Queen is Dead

thanks to sweetness. XD

<3

things done don't just fall into waiting laps

things being more concrete now, they finally slowed to a crawl... there's a lot more happening recently compared to when I was still in school but having events in the current week planned a week before really helps sort things out. been working the same 6 hour shift the past 3 days and tomorrow's the final consecutive one. honestly, that kind of work tires the hell out of me even though there's nothing much to be done there 'cept stand around and be nice a lot. more sleep will probably help though and I'll find out tonight... seriously, how do people handle full time 9-5 5 half days a week jobs? the last full time job I had was 3 years back, it didn't only tire me out... bored the brains out of my shit too and it lasted less than 4 months, thank goodness. tuesday night's the start of another new part time job! good luck to me and everyone else involved XD to date I am involved in 3 part time jobs, 3 other commitments and countless of (over due) errands to run... the list of things to do were put down and stuck to the back of my door on a insomnia movie poster... hope I'll be able to strike some off this week

just thought I'd mention... bf's been reallyreally sweet these days (: happiness.

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SAVES THE DAY!
(pointless and random image entry)

it all started out with a healthy and innocent act of sandwich making with a combination of some sweet and salty spread




but the spreading soon spread




from jars




to handy packs




to pies




and bars




shakes




to dog food!?




games for the boys and girls




ceramic salt and pepper shakers




and why not, have them on your lips
ALL THE TIME!




i'm such a geek
i love peanut butter jelly sandwiches
and i love google

yum

brunei end-aug
sims 2 on xbox
quality juice extractor
mogwai on 1 aug 2006
new set of paint and brushes
many stretched primed canvas
concave scream Horizons
the smiths The Queen is Dead
cocteau twins Lullabies to Violaine
astreal Fragments of the Same Dead Star

that's just a few off the top of my head

been toying with the idea of a themed series of works on canvas in my head for the past few days now and there's a perfect space here for the easel to be in too, all there is left to do is to make this space paint friendly. actually the idea's been around since few months back, hatched while doing imagery research but it was not executable then as it's no where related to anything that I was doing for school. and it's now or never.

these weren't painted but done in a software... taken from deviantart and can't remember who the artist is but WOW anyway.

brain damage

lousy

wowwweeeeee
one down! rugby shorts next. the rest can wait for now

wave warrior!

delete delete delete

too many times in life we're stopped to be questioned 'are you even in the position to (yadayadainsertwhateverhere)'? and that just makes people want to listen to depressing songs like radiohead's cover of pink floyd's wish you were here, all the time

and radiohead can get pretty damn depressing if they want

think smashing pumpkin's thin lizzy's dancing in the moonlight


or anything else depressing

odd sight of the day: digital wrist watch at the ankle

what's ridiculous about a hike to the tree top canopy or is it only a trip my 65 year old uncle can take with his senior citizen friends? OH !$#$lk!@@!$ DON'T I JUST HATE LIVING HERE SOMETIMES.

well what do we have. 2 consecutive nights of ridiculous tantrums, lots of time wasted on sulking and crying, implication of an innocent 3rd party and not having much work done, even more so with my own work due bloody thursday. he can go figure his own shit out himself from now on unless he asks me nicely to help. keeper of his work no more.

UNDESERVING.

hair partially pasted on face gives bad skin complexion

taking a break from imagery research...

junk food consumed this week:
- crunch choc bar
- 1 can of coke
- cheezels
- twisties
- 2 cups of cup noodles (LOL)
- greenspot orange juice
- sour power (cola flavoured)
- 2 sticks of mentos (limited edition)
- 1/2 pack of some weird jap. gummy sweet
- traffic light popsicle
- jack&jill potato chips (which will be consumed tomorrow)
- random mix of sweets

it's an unusually long list just thought it'd be interesting to note... on regular normal days junk food isn't appetizing AT ALL... hmmmmmmmmm.

realised today that most of the entries are one liners, what's the point here? elaborations are tiring especially when you're really elaborating to no one in particular. one liners on the other hand are kind of like self reminders... so that when I read the archive, things and people that have made me sad happy lost desperate furious or lose respect for are recalled. because sometimes I forget. well anyway, the one liner of today is

gonna start the Save for Rugby Stuff Fund soon. with that, I'd better be playing the best rugby that I have to offer.


4 days, will the wall be crumbling?
"...when I am walking a dark road, I am a man who walks alone."

"...Some researchers suggest that people who react to pollens may also have a hypersensitivity to certain foods. For example, several studies have found that people allergic to grass pollens also reacted to tomatoes, peanuts, wheat, apple, carrot, celery, peach, melon, eggs and pork."

O...M...G.

the 'exercise' knocks me out even before the 'game' starts.
how like that?

rough waters ahead to get over......

i'm gonna scream if i get asked to do a re-submission again

wake, drive, school, sleep. wake, drive, school, sleep. wake, school, rugby, sleep. wake, drive, school, sleep. wake, drive, school, rugby, sleep. wake, HELLODEAREST, sleep. wake, HELLODEAREST, sleep. (x3)

well when things are categorised that way, it doesn't seem very tiring at all

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. 4 more weeks. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. stressed. stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. haven't even started on work. OMG OMG. and there are already sleepless nights. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

the past week, sleep has had the company of notebook and pen in reach. thoughts and ideas had the bedside company made convenient. but this should stop soon, before sleep writing arrives in full bloom.

curses of the retarded emo self. thanks regina for making me not feel entirely insane. it's time to go shopping again, and no thanks to the
@!!@@!#!$!>?><@#@!#<>@ lecturers of ______ school.

hello art, my friend.
wouldn't you love to have my debit card in sight.

"If such is the life led...
well, there'd not be waste of any kind when let go."

sometimes all we need is for someone to listen, contemplate and come to a two points of view decision, one being neutral for its positivity or negativity, and the other, personal. because sometimes too much talking in the head or one sided conversations will convince the result of insanity in a brain waved personality image of a psycho over analytical control freak.

sometimes we all need that conviction, assurance, discussion. the possibility of what might be or not be. the discipline to cut back on a bad habit of talking in codes and circles. in fear of letting the psycho over analytical control freak out of the bag again.

to not be the only one in its enclosed world

"When everything is too much and nothing seems real anymore,
there's nothing like the solace of turning all the lights off and blasting music you love. when every day physical comfort fails, the intangible quality of music is like a snug comforter in a room with the airconditioner turned to the max."

- ADLIN ROSLI, SINGER OF M'SIAN BAND "LIED"


taken from www.lunarin.com

this picture probably does the most justice to the recent ongoings. wellll there are a few others but... technical complications la.

it's the richness and the well saturated colours.

memories like such last the entire lifetime

minutes ago, I stumbled across a long lost song (streaming on some webpage) that I used to listen to years back on every other emo night until during a reformat when I didn't manage to save all that precious music. and hearing penfold's I'll Take You Everywhere at this random site almost made me cry

trauma = drama.

there had been life besides the more than allowed number of bad mood swings happening lately. seriously, just blame the damn weather. linda's birthday party-thing was yesterday. although a simple function and the catered food was spiked with MSG, it had been something because it is not everyday that I get to sit with people at a table and have conversations that last more than an hour long... people that I like even. bf and I then headed to suntec city to collect the super puma helicoptor model kit he had sought after for ages. it was dinner at country manna shortly after (YUM) and I'm sorry he has to always endure the many kinds of emotional torture that I never once not regret letting go full blown. makes me wonder sometimes if I would only learn when things that had been once in my hands become out of grasp.

it is a complex feeling. how do you balance out feeling yourself turn sour and the want to be appreciative at the same time?

anyway today was tuition at the kid's place before heading down to his for some long overdue love and exercise. his boxes have finally arrived, together with that bike which everyone is amazed/amused with. so he rode dunno how many kilometers with me on skates... initially to jurong east but the route came to an end abruptly so we had to turn back, only to meet with a storm. stopped for a while before heading to holland village for dinner, and I was sent off at buonavista mrt station.

we definitely should do it more often,
muscle aches or not.

melancholy at its best example

"it probably wouldn't matter, if you knew about this all, because you would have thought that it should have ended at where I said I understood that you have had a rough day, because you didn't even try at all when I tried letting you know about it. and if I said that, it would be my fault because I hadn't been obvious enough."

there's no dinner tonight.

Oh Lady/Lord of Great Shit, when will you quit falling on us all?


hello 14th day of the New Year.

today had yet again been the day of many pieces of unfortunate news. the first passing was of a very new friend/guitarist's grandma, RIP. if she ever sees this. and that led to us not being able to go ahead with an audition tomorrow for a competition that most of us were looking forward to. the second death was of Sleeve's drummer. RIP too, one person less in the music scene. there is no third death. however, less than a month back here, he's on stand by again. to go to eastfreakingjava (not that I'm blaming that country/people of that country for it, just the freaking 4rmy for not giving him a choice. yes, PLS @k!$@!kl@!k#@! THE FREAKING 4RMY.) uh it's this rescue thing that his unit may have to do. hopefully, when the time comes, they realise that he's gonna be more useful here *quote* to protect our own arse *unquote* than help others clean up theirs. don't say we said that. the sun is out to get us too. because there had been no space for it during the past very rainy days. two hours of it today really did A Lot Of Harm. maybe I should go soak in milk. but seriously, what's a medal and more money to an issue about life and death? oh of course you could say, it is not about all that.

then I'd like to see you bother taking time off and risking your one life (we are, unfortunately, not cats) for it. there's too much to care for around myself to be able to put everything down and have something that honourable done.

as selfish as this sounds, the closer ones matter more

bloody hell.

it's a strange day
no colours or shapes
no sound in my head
I forget who I am
when I'm with you
there's no reason
there's no sense
I'm not supposed to feel
I forget who
I am
I forget

goldfrapp.utopia

half of the people on my MSN messenger (inclusive of myself) who actually bother with real talk is always the half who talk because they need something out of somebody. psychic vampires, all of us.

HAPPY NEW EARS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

have a great one ahead everybody.