minutes ago, I stumbled across a long lost song (streaming on some webpage) that I used to listen to years back on every other emo night until during a reformat when I didn't manage to save all that precious music. and hearing penfold's I'll Take You Everywhere at this random site almost made me cry

trauma = drama.

there had been life besides the more than allowed number of bad mood swings happening lately. seriously, just blame the damn weather. linda's birthday party-thing was yesterday. although a simple function and the catered food was spiked with MSG, it had been something because it is not everyday that I get to sit with people at a table and have conversations that last more than an hour long... people that I like even. bf and I then headed to suntec city to collect the super puma helicoptor model kit he had sought after for ages. it was dinner at country manna shortly after (YUM) and I'm sorry he has to always endure the many kinds of emotional torture that I never once not regret letting go full blown. makes me wonder sometimes if I would only learn when things that had been once in my hands become out of grasp.

it is a complex feeling. how do you balance out feeling yourself turn sour and the want to be appreciative at the same time?

anyway today was tuition at the kid's place before heading down to his for some long overdue love and exercise. his boxes have finally arrived, together with that bike which everyone is amazed/amused with. so he rode dunno how many kilometers with me on skates... initially to jurong east but the route came to an end abruptly so we had to turn back, only to meet with a storm. stopped for a while before heading to holland village for dinner, and I was sent off at buonavista mrt station.

we definitely should do it more often,
muscle aches or not.

melancholy at its best example

"it probably wouldn't matter, if you knew about this all, because you would have thought that it should have ended at where I said I understood that you have had a rough day, because you didn't even try at all when I tried letting you know about it. and if I said that, it would be my fault because I hadn't been obvious enough."

there's no dinner tonight.

Oh Lady/Lord of Great Shit, when will you quit falling on us all?


hello 14th day of the New Year.

today had yet again been the day of many pieces of unfortunate news. the first passing was of a very new friend/guitarist's grandma, RIP. if she ever sees this. and that led to us not being able to go ahead with an audition tomorrow for a competition that most of us were looking forward to. the second death was of Sleeve's drummer. RIP too, one person less in the music scene. there is no third death. however, less than a month back here, he's on stand by again. to go to eastfreakingjava (not that I'm blaming that country/people of that country for it, just the freaking 4rmy for not giving him a choice. yes, PLS @k!$@!kl@!k#@! THE FREAKING 4RMY.) uh it's this rescue thing that his unit may have to do. hopefully, when the time comes, they realise that he's gonna be more useful here *quote* to protect our own arse *unquote* than help others clean up theirs. don't say we said that. the sun is out to get us too. because there had been no space for it during the past very rainy days. two hours of it today really did A Lot Of Harm. maybe I should go soak in milk. but seriously, what's a medal and more money to an issue about life and death? oh of course you could say, it is not about all that.

then I'd like to see you bother taking time off and risking your one life (we are, unfortunately, not cats) for it. there's too much to care for around myself to be able to put everything down and have something that honourable done.

as selfish as this sounds, the closer ones matter more

bloody hell.

it's a strange day
no colours or shapes
no sound in my head
I forget who I am
when I'm with you
there's no reason
there's no sense
I'm not supposed to feel
I forget who
I am
I forget

goldfrapp.utopia

half of the people on my MSN messenger (inclusive of myself) who actually bother with real talk is always the half who talk because they need something out of somebody. psychic vampires, all of us.

HAPPY NEW EARS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

have a great one ahead everybody.