Pondered over late breakfast/lunch of a nice hot indochine prawn wrap today after the snipping of long overdue split ends in town; to take my mom out for a great dinner or would a big welcome back into the kitchen deem better means for the entire family? So I have now in my oven two chicken roasts of delicious thyme and garlic and butter, later which potatoes and sweet potatoes peppers asparagus pan fried, rosemary and young portobello mushrooms with cheese will be all added to bake in this wonderful singular dish of a meal. Just wish I was a little less lazy with the photo snapping of these daily activities, way too many to be documenting really,... oh well. Shall just have to make do with my descriptive literary preceding your power of worldly imagination (:

The only way to go is up.

Thought I should leave you with a little piece of me before we take the jump on Saturday in the deep green seas of truly Asia. This was last night at good 'ol ECP, one of the worst actually... will eventually bruise like a motherfucker, a positive sign really because that is when skin regeneration takes place. What happened was - went Way too fast on skates, tripped, avoided landing on pavement, jumped to grass patch to break the fall but hit the curb instead. Awesome or what?

It has been quite a crazy week; 5 hours or less of sleep daily since thumper first Friday of the month and a photo shoot nearby due in 20 minutes. After which would be brunch with jinneroos if he wakes in time and work undone to be done in office and maaaaaybe a small nap and then more work and then more food with jinneroos and that would mark the end of too many events lined up before taking it easy the next couple of days. Or so I would try. Should definitely get a good rest tonight, would not want to be prone to illness before the much anticipated trip to Dayang woohoo! Am unable to translate the wonder of amazement that ceases to fail me in amusement into simple language, so we shall leave that be and will see where this ride on cloud 9 takes us both.

Despite the sleep deprivation. All is good and beautiful.

Past couple of weekends since KL were rather eventful. Took me a while this morning to recall what exactly was done over the 2 weekends ago. Seriously need to start with the photograph snapping. Age is catching up. Before I forget,... Saw Teenage Textbook movie at Sinama Old School 2 days prior to Jazz on South Bridge on Friday 22 August. Saturday was sex driven serial killing Pathology at Cathay. And then drinks til late at Starbucks. 2AM supermarket cart down Centrepoint to a half eaten sandwich at Swensen's before silk sheets and candy dreams. It might just be true when they say never to let go of that one person when you have found him/her, who has both physical and mental mutual connectivity with you so strong vibes have never felt more real. Quite an awesome feeling. Well we will see how true it gets.

Friday 29 August... For some reason the bunch that was supposed to turn up for the organised outing dissipated, leaving Jinnems and I. Ahead with the plans we went; great dinner at HK Street Family Restaurant, leisurely ride down to the Esplanade... Human oven and Force Vomit, waterfront chill out through 2 bands... Vertical Rush of Real Dreams for two without a question and fantastic company. BEN&JERRY’s, lousy bowlers and a midnight movie and then getting home at 3AM. Met up again 9 hours later for brunch at Waffletown, a gem of a place in sleepy Balmoral Plaza Jin did not discover until me and finally scratching that 2 week old craving for some baked waffles that all supermarkets did not seem to sell any longer. Went down town to Wheelock Place, Forum, made some lazy window shopping before settling at Coffee Bean to freaking STUDY.

Digressing… PADI Open Water certification course commences a week from now, have got 3 hours of a theory session to attend and 6 hours in pool before our weekend dive trip on 19th in Dayang, Malaysia. Wanted to do this since I was 17, after scuba diving in Langkawi, with an instructor attached of course. It was absolutely surreal down under, a whole new space encompassed by a plugged in sound of suspended calm which I dream about from time to time. According to gilldivers, the sea creatures will start their migration in September. Need to go get me some of those disposable underwater cameras soon. So yes, Dayang’s the next destination and diving’s the next big thing that will take place!

This weekend is gonna be Batam, lots of lazing about on the beach in hope of a good tan, eating and drinking and eating with the lot from Boon’s team. It doesn’t feel like we are going but we are finally going! Took quite a lot of pain and a shitload of lag time to get to this stage with that bunch – tickets and rooms all paid for hellooooo sunshine! You can probably understand now why it is tough remembering things I have done on certain days without the photographic documentation. Keep in mind that what I write here on this blog does not constitute to half the things I do in real time. Yes it’s true, there is definitely more to life than mere words in cyberspace.

Back to the previous weekend… Study sessions are necessary because we were given this chunk of a hunk textbook with too many chapters we need to skim through before our theory class on the 9th. And Coffee Bean got us through less than a chapter, before we were distracted by elephant fucks on fingers, body art and magic pens. We figured that it might take 5 sessions before we finish the damn book. Trudged through rain and too much of a crowd to the train station for yet another movie at Vivocity, ATTACK OF THE CLOOONEEES. Cannot believe I watched it but what the heck, I actually did. Not that it was horrible… Oh nevermind. After movie was speed shopping. 4 tops from Gap and Pull and Bear for Jin; long overdue leather pouch from Topshop, 2 tops from Gap and a nice green dress from Mango for me. There were some hot red heels from M&S that fit but not very well, was as disappointed as he was, Victoria’s Secret it is. While shops closed, it was dinner at Marche. I still love Marche despite of the happening quite traumatising couple of months back, that’s an entry meant for another day should the topic come up. Well anyway, there is more to love now that I have found a partner in crime. Hung out a bit outdoors before lengthening the never ending queue for a doze-in-out ride home. So much for ‘going a bit crazy on Friday and getting you in bed early Saturday’. I think we were totally tired out.

I don’t know if it is lame blogging these series of events but honestly, if it is not written down here nor in my journal… 5 months down the road I will probably forget what was done where and with whom so we can all agree, this is for the better good. Of my brain. In continuation. Got to office after lunch on Sunday, went down to Bugis Junction a bit later, headed to Esplanade for. Believe it or not. The NIKE HUMAN RACE. Never in my life would I have expected myself to be part of this wave of red madness taking place all over the globe. Sent Jin off at the start line, clocked an hour and 6 minutes while I happily bought myself some new pants. After shower and all fresh was MORE SHOPPING. This is us and sheer over spending in apparent ignorance of what’s left on our bank statements. He didn’t find any shoes to buy. Bought his 4th crumpler bag though. And me, a spanking new bikini from Billabong that is, may I say, grand cuteness. No other colour combi beats gold and black. Dinner at o’Brien’s and then drinks until Pacific Coffee ceased activity for the day.

This is an awful long blog entry, which I have, out of lousy Monday work etiquette, spent half of the morning writing. The office smells like chicken and I would really like some turkey and brie from Cedele’s for lunch. Might do meatballs at Ikea after work today, if not it will be more crazy night riding and perhaps a bit of Jalan Kayu prata along the way. Need to meet with Ice Cream Boy, old schoolmates and Kellie if you are reading this... COME OUT WITH BRAN AND I PLEASE BEFORE YOU FLY BACK TO CENTRAL SAINT MARTIN'S TO SPEND ANOTHER WONDROUS SCHOOL SEMESTER!

Isn’t life just the perfect ace.

Fuck expectations.

Might be, could be...

KL just a weekend ago was fantastic. Believe it or not I have zero photographs from far-too-short a trip. We managed to cover lots though; 2pm in Pasakrayat (?), some good thai food for lunch at Times Square, quality window shopping and Borders... Drinks at Starbucks and quality company while 2toe fetched the car. He then got stuck in a jam so we took on some wine and heineken's at Dome. Which did not go too well together. Checked in at beautiful Hotel Maya that is conveniently situated across from Zouk KL, became a missus for the stay and receptionist did not believe I was my age but gave us a queen sized bed in a corner room with a wonderful view anyway. Long shower and quick soak in the 5 piece honeymoon bathroom while the boys hung out at the sky lounge that could easily be my choice of a living room... Pretty sunset lights through ceiling-floor window-doors accompanied by echoes of soft rock and quiet conversation in a space that seemed completely ours, wine cheese and fruit while 2toe took his time in the shower, absolute romancing.

Went on down to Jalan Damai where there was a stretch of homes converted into eateries that had eatables (sic), settled for a Japanese restaurant similar to Sui Restaurant on Craig Road, low tables raised platforms, the whole works. Great food and service and company what more is there to ask for? Took a long ride to Damansara Heights for a bottle of wine at a wine place with a name that escapes my mind. Zouk at midnight and met up with Dean the architect had a bottle of jim beam's and green tea and then it was too much crazy sexy dancing til the lights came on. The night was coming to an end but we made it last with gentle touches until the first peek of morn. Missed check out, snuck into lobby with half a straight face, got away with a lost room access card scot-free.

Woke up at Dome KLCC Suria with coffee and hot chocolate and apple crush and a pie with ice cream before 2toe joined us to have lunch at Madam Kwan's... not a place to be at by the way. Over priced with mediocre nasi lemak. Fail. Then it was down to Pasakrayat again for a sleepy ride home. Long dinner at Soup Spoon, his virgin visit and was rather impressed. Soup Spoon over Cedele now any day. Made plans for jazz and beer, dreaming aloud of the underwater in September anticipation and trips to beautiful sandy beaches, stunt driving, Europe and german learning before we headed for home, indulging in everything honest and true to life while dealing with getting through the next work week with a secret smile on our faces.

I don't know. This might be, could be.

And according to wilson. KL is for lovers. :)

because nasehr says so -

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. olivia
2. oli
3. o

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. olibia
2. nikkijoan
3. eat my shorts

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. head
2. body
3. limbs

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. skin allergies
2. split ends
3. growth of unnecessary bodily hair

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. communism
2. defiance
3. music and the arts

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. running out of time
2. not being able to break out of ennui ever
3. indulgence of evil jealousy

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. passing the motion
2. being squeaky clean and scrubbed
3. calcium

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. black matte frames
2. ashworth
3. deep red glittery nail polish

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. radiohead
2. chantel chamberland
3. saveferris

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. weezer - island in the sun
2. chantel chamberland - cry me a river
3. portishead - wandering stars

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. trust
2. communication beau ideal
3. being able to travel explore and experience whatever in wholesome togetherness

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. taking it easy
2. stoning into the sea/sky/field/somesortofnicelandscape
3. dining with great company

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. sleep
2. swim
3. eat cereal milk and fruit for breakfast

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. photographer
2. explorer
3. fine artist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. all
2. over
3. the world

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. live a life worth the while
2.
3.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. sucker for a good sale
2. enjoy the good ol flowers dinner movie date and drinks after
3. want to be treated like a lady but at the same time expect men to be acutely aware of my feministic tendencies

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. having super-guy-strength
2. none to minimal gossip in daily convos
3. easily annoyed by dramatised wailing hysterics of fellow female acquaintances, better tolerance with friends of course

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. khai
2. linda
3. BD


And it is you,... you the one who can break me outta this fucking rut.

Well I think I am officially stressed out. Sort of like a pressure cooker, suppressed and no release. That is more good news than anything else really. See, in a pressure cooker, all is bounded in a space firmly enclosed. Each molecule, bonds heat induced, are now synced vigorous motions of pulses in a nasty quake-like. Containment is important. Denying spillage, the resistance of the steely exterior plays the role mighty great of a given merit indisputable. And that, is what gets the shit together and holds it in a grip as tight as hell.

Expedite, expedite. Gotta freaking expedite.

9.30AM
letters to jinneroos

As the ray of sheer lightness in the early morn stream through glass undisguised and enveloping everything in a warm schmoosh wrap, we are again reminded of what is divine and good, green as could be on the other side. Minutes tick seeping into the arrival of day, somewhat different now; for what holds important is a thought of the utter wholesomeness that is kept in a secret garden of lull, just sitting and waiting, hanging on a promise of discovery.

Top 10 things I would reeeeeealllllllllllllly like happening/to be doing RIGHT NOW:

i. Lounging on a beach chair. In front of my beach house. Basking in the sunset. Eating nice cold sweet seedless tangerines. With no one in particular. It doesn't really matter. Sort of.

ii. The blister on my shin from the 2 hour long skateathon this morning to MIRACULOUSLY DISAPPEAR.

iii. Have the Singapore Marathon 2008 corporate run-thing-rubbish-issue to organise and coordinate when I say WOWWWEEEE!

iv. Be on a spacious balcony of some sort. Preferably my bedroom's. Eating nice cold sweet seedless tangerines in the chill of a night.

v. To stop the pondering on what to wear Saturday of the much anticipated impromptu HELLOOOOKLWEEKENDDDDDDDAGAINNNNN trip that my mother has no clue of

vi. Finding the secret map to the money plantation people seem to know about.

vii. Snap out of being hungry and grossed out by food all at the same time. STUPID GASTROENTERITIS.

viii. Be swept away. To Italy. Egypt. Wherever. As long as the sweeping part is involved.

ix. For the blinds to be drawn sleep from eyes rubbed away so that truth unfolds and saves the day.

x. Gotta put a stop to these emo laced entries sheesh

Two Individuals

One individual

Inspiration seeps. Through cracks of walls, walls of brimming heat.

Like a heartbeat.

When I first saw the music video of Yellow. I thought it was brilliant. The lyrics brilliant. Filmotography brilliant. Of early morn to the break of dawn? Brilliant.

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn in
Turn into something beautiful
You know
You know I love you so
You know I love you so

Just what sort of a love would a love be… will a love be, for a love of all skin and bone deep? Will we ever.

Chanced upon the video last night clicking around youtube, goosebumps all around hearing Tony Williams sing in tenor beautiful like soap all lathered. Who does this these days? Where locally can I get a taste of such awesomeness live?

you're my dream come true, my one and only you...

and 7 hours ago, at the Singapore Indoor Stadium...



Yes I actually went to watch the WYNNERS. Paid for of course. Not that mad yet. The supposed 'Beatles' of SEA. Aunties and uncles out of their seats boogying to the music. Coloured light sticks. Whistles. CANTOPOP. No I am not out of my freaking mind.

then to Privé - marina at keppel bay


For some nice desserty bailey's irish crème, a bottomless jug of lemonade fizzy alcoholic thingy great view with a DJ spinning retro to the 70s 80s and progressively into the 90s when we left after much silly almost drunk talk.

Have been brought to (too) many new places for food and chilling out of late, the past 2-3 months or so... Interestingly enough, it seems the older ones keep better company. I'm not complaining.

So I finally got down to the muesli breakfast this morning - plain yoghurt, honey from india that was meant for hair conditioning (don't ask), grapes and pre-packed muesli all mixed into a great concoction of bird food.

"No wonder the animals in the forest are always happy"
"I wouldn't mind living in the forest. Gotta have a cow though so I still get my dairy"
"Is that a feast you're having? May I have some of whatever you are having pretty please?"
"Mmm honey with yoghurt, lovely!"
"Looks like lao sai, probably will come out the same way"
"What in the world are you eating?"
"Eeeeyer, what is that!?"
"Healthy living week is it?"

Just minutes ago. Aviators on, all prepped for a great day out at the pool with Angeline and kid. Looking forward to getting browned everywhere else pasty white, save for my freckled arms... no thanks to architectural photography, under too much morning light at its bestest.

Now. Bright sunshine gone, an audible storm brews in a distance unknown, it looks like I'm gonna remain unevenly coloured afterall.

Whatever happened to sun in sunday?

I'm happy lazing in today

Before heading out in a bit

z

It’s an hour before my flight back to homeland. Am looking forward to the next trip already, for I have some unfinished business to deal with. Did not manage to exhaust all shopping in KLCC! Horrible time management or what? I’ll never know. Gave away a couple of shopping vouchers (accumulated from Jin/other shopping and wanted to use today but ran outta time GRRR) to the nice cab driver who drove me to the airport. He was in absolute delight. Gonna be a hit with his daughter tonight.

Putting things in perspective… it has been quite a curious weekend actually. I found new friends, forged ties, crossed lines into new boundaries, discovered a discipline of travel I had once been friendly with only in thought but now with experience. My colleagues in the Malaysia office had been really generous with their hospitality. Makes me feel all warm snuggly inside. Above all, I found myself again. Among other things.

Contemplating getting a widget of some sort, start locking entries… journey ahead is looking to be difficult, and it is not any easier bearing a soul raw to the public eye.

I am such a big fat suaku.

KLCC Mall is like the awesomest mall Ever. It is Vivocity, Takashimaya and Paragon all rolled into one. Selection of literature in Kinokuniya SG pales way too much in comparision. There are cafés inside out and I am at DOME now, sipping on a drink of some wonderfully crushed apple and ice, running on a free WirelessKL internet account. The balcony in my room looks out to the pool and green lush, Corus Hotel is much quaintness albeit old. Went about with business of photoshooting as usual, earlier in the day, and then some tea&toast, some shopping and A&W for dinner. DON'T YOU GUYS JUST MISS CONEY DOGS!!!!??!

I think I could love KL.

Hi all

KL in 14 hours, Jin is awesome entertaining and life is beautiful

Had such a scare this early morning. Mom dropped me off to catch a bus to work at a bus stop in AMK, minutes later a bunch of emergency vehicles whizzed past. Bus arrived and the accident site was just a couple of junctions down the road. A vehicle had overturned and it was the exact make of what my mom drives.

First thought that came into the mind - What the fuck? Could it be?
Second thought - Gotta get off the freaking bus.
On the walk towards accident site - Slight hyperventilation takes place
Third thought - Who should I inform first? Recalls that brothers at home are awake
Fourth thought - Keep calm. Keep calm. Keep calm. Keep calm.
Fifth thought - Did she die? Will she die?

So I got to the site eventually, checked and double checked the vehicle number. Checked and double checked faces of the casualties. Triple checked the vehicle number.

Walked back to the bus stop in cold sweat.

Woke up from the half slumber I had been in, and went ahead to work.

Well aren't human relations the strangest of the lot. It makes no sense more often than not, when one and one are put together. Just how and why is it that they allow the occurrence of such brazen contradictions? Annoys the heck out of me sometimes but really... oh fuck it

this weekend (week?) had been an interesting concoction of revisiting the old and making the new.

Had my first (not very authentic probably, according to my vietnamese colleagues) Vietnamese fare on Wednesday for dinner, at VaVaVoom on Seah Street. THE FOOD WAS GREAT! Totally looking forward now, to the Vietnam trip some time in September. Apparently the best Thai cuisine is just around the corner, just a bit from VaVaVoom. That's a treat for the next dinner date. Walked few doors down to Shanghai Jazz for some... shucks I am So bad with names. WELL anyway there was good jazz, company, and some sort of liquor. The name of it escapes me. Lazy to google. It was downed with green tea. Got home at 12.05. Was half expecting my clothes to turn to rags the subaru into a pumpkin and my driver into mouse. Oh there's no such magic afterall...

Thursday saw regs' grad show through - too many old friends old faces. heck I even caught up with the art history lecturer from when I was in year 1, whose early morning lectures I used to snooze in and out of. Cold dark auditorium + monotonous droning voice = perfect set up for sleep minus the blankie. And that was back in 2003. He has had thousands of fine arts students and is glad to know I have managed to steer clear of venturing into design as a profession, as what most FA trained would have done/have done. There was a fashion show (no designs showcased were too extreme; been there done that, real unfortunate...) that I thought had an awesome runway made right in the corridors of the big black beauty. SM seemed real impressed with the entire happening and he wished for o&o to eventually adapt a 'Lasalle way of life'. Well it's +1 at the moment, just 259 more revolutions to go. Night ended with a good lie-in on the green, regaining our breaths taken away by exhibits of inspiration all around. Regs has done us proud. True blue fine artist out in the field woohoo!

Friday was a quick dinner of teochew porridge at joo chiat and teh at killiney selegie with non stop convo before I was dropped off outside zouk to join 'a younger crowd' to see Plainsunset with their 4th album launch! Machiam like got sugar daddy or what. Anyway, again, many old faces... added new ones to the crowd by successfully psychoing a 40 year old and his female friend to watch teenyboopers bop mosh and surf to PS. And buy their CDs. And get them autographed HAHA. Was really glad to have renewed brief ties with johnC ex-manager of PS. I was just a kid back then, when we first knew of each other. Surprised that I had not fallen out of his mind and that means a lot. We're still standing strong by local music today! Started for home early because I have to be good until the end of the month. KL IS WHERE BE THE PARTY!

So, half an hour into saturday my idiot colleague made a bet I won't be able to wake in time to meet at freaking noon. Jin obviously didn't win the bet. Headed down to Choa Chu Kang and bought a father's day mango cake with 5 candles from four leaves before making way to HY's crib for a big lunch of
CHILLI CRAB
STEAMED CRAB
GINSENG CHICKEN
DRUNKEN PRAWNS
LOR MEE
STIR FRIED FRENCH BEANS&TOFU
FRENCH LOAF&GARLICBUTTER DRESSING
CARLSBERG FRUIT PUNCH
all of which, home cooked! By a couple of men! Food was REALLYREALLY good. It's probably got something to do with HY's retirement plan. He has to start charging at the door. We were expecting 20 guests but only 8 turned up. There was also a SAKAE SUSHI PARTY PLATTER. Can you imagine the amount of food there was to finish. A whole bottle of XO and 4 cans of beer were emptied in the process. Was the only guest from corporate office invited (aside from the MD, director of studio everyone else present is from) but it was still fantastic hanging out. Father's Day/Birthday Song/Candles and all. HY has an adorable schnauzer named Nazi whom I stopped giving cuddles to after his hurling of green pellets and mucus. On carpet. Headed to PS with Jin to watch Incredible Hulk after, before dropping off his really old skool smells like moth balls beigey white mercs at golden mile complex, to join SM and his friend for pool prata and a little more pool.

Today's a lazy stay-in sunday. Gonna teach (geez) younger brother the basis to learning social studies and geography. He has zero clue tackling source based questions. I'm counting my lucky stars today too, for all the good company and friends I have all around me. They are really what make my life at this juncture of time. Without whom, I would be nothing. SERIOUSLY! Okay gonna stop being mushy and publish the damn entry.

What does it take to love? What will it take to love? Again?

This is much more than what I would like to admit pondering on, but really... Just what will it take, to step into love again? Cliché as it may be, considering situational underlying factors and all, love represents none but a bare whisper. Things are now merely a sheen of no love-ness non-personal de-fucking-tached series of events in a huge empty bowl. Lingering. And waiting. Watching. Waiting.

Good too early morning. Queasy stomach from last night keeping me away from sleep. Was a blast though. Can't feel my skin. Nor brain? need to. Organise. THOUGHTS!

Hello awesome people of the earth

just needed to say
I am in absolute delight.

Does it hurt, does it hurt? Tell me if it hurts, if it hurts like a rightful bitch?

to be honest I am uncertain if this is the way to go... Am I being unbelievable or what?
Suppose a creak of a young crack starts to stir one fine day and with little warning everything comes crumbling down in a big way, will that mean all of what had happened was not meant to be taken in with such graceful, unbroken stride?

meanwhile. there's a fantastic weekend planned ahead. the next is looking really promising too. what could be better than getting to see and spend time with my favourite people friday through sunday? I wish it'd be made easier lugging a camera around during weekends shooting at everything that makes the bright and happy. but seriously, shooting 24/7?... greenfacedgonnapukepukingnowbleagh lah.

sort of like leaving work to go back to work.

WHATTHEFUCK WHATTHEFUCK!!!!

wind down sunday

Past week or two at work had been a real eye and mind opener. Especially grateful to polar puff SM, whom I believe is some kind of genius. For constantly putting things in new perspectives that never once fell into consideration yet make absolute sense when seen with thought. Also grateful to brinlems the tech wonder with the brilliant proxy idea and all the help. It really scares to see a real person on the war path armed with hateful intentions of a self absorbed being determined to carry out the modus operandi that would eventually bring an organisation into jeopardy. Fortunately though, if karma proves to be good and alive, all of this will come to a close before the end of the week.

I have been given far too much flak recently, about the amount of time I spend at or on work. The fact that I actually am serious about work ethics and my profession doesn't seem to register with certain people it seems. I am neither overworked nor losing sleep or missing a social life. Why should it be necessary for explanation on how office hours end after 10pm, or doesn't end when the weekend arrives, if there is much to be caught up with? What is that distaste expressed, when one is openly concerned about how corporate services is served and viewed by the rest of the office? Should there not be worry when you have privy information that might lead to the gradual demise of the corporate office if not made known? Not saying that I am the ultimate earthly saint warrior and protector, but this incredible shallow of professionalism displayed is beyond my understanding. To whine about the work of others really just says more than if you were to whine about your own. Hence I encourage all of you who hate your job and have been in pain for more than 3 months now - just fucking resign please and put yourself out of misery.

Appreciate the genuine concern from friends who might think this workaholic-ness is a cause-effect reaction from recent events though. Appreciate Angeline too, for being always ready to listen to my ramblings on bad days. But I must assure you that things have never been better. schnyp knows that I am now 5% happier. Sure, the heartache is inevitable. At the end of the day, life still has to go on doesn't it? What's the point of harping on past glories?

Ever felt tired at the idea of speaking because there was way too much to be said?

Almost done!

Yes still in office. Don't need to remind me, what a no-lifer I am. Justification if you're seriously bothered by this
workaholic-ness: Work hard during the weekdays. Play harder during weekends yes? So for some reason a colleague of mine would buy puffs from Polar (assuming, at the petrol station) whenever he goes out of office to conduct lectures mid day and then gives one to me when he comes back. Is there a get-2-cheaper deal or some sort? Anyway it's still a sweet gesture. And knowing I had headed out for a quick nightshoot some place in Jurong earlier this evening, a row of lights on 9th were left on though everyone had left. Little things like that really help make life seem a little more worthy, during times as such.

Puff tasted way better than the dinner office despatch people tapao-ed (which I barely touched)

may 4 sunday
just woke not too long ago, with mom ringing to ask (half hysterically) Whatever will happen to the breakfast the lunch I bought you? hadn't really been a late night yesterday though, was just early long brekkie-lunch affair with regs in sengkang, hanging out with bd in pasir ris at her flea-market-blood-drive, and then into town for some feet unbinding at a late night movie with austin who was as sick as a sick pup could be, heavy head screwed up nasals and all. Maybe I re-caught something.

adjectives to recent events: disjointed, amused, apprehensive, flattered, appreciative, hopeful, annoyed, thoughtful, wistful, re-energized, aware.

I gave the 4.5th year anniversary present to my colleague's little daughter. it's a start, right?

This would be what they call a TotallyAwesomelyRandomPointless Blog Entry.

In light of recent events. Conclusion(s) - Publish-worthy, award-winning photographs that work; beautiful in composition and light, are now factors that do not suffice the humanly demand of what could be bigger, better. Dynamics are now important in play of composition thus spelling out the one and only one unfortunate mistake made repeatedly during last couple of shoots. That is, not having approached my subjects with the calm and uncaring of time that ticked away in its seconds, minutes and hours. Insufficient thought put into, a term familiar on flickr, 'interestingness'. Insufficient point of focus on subjects to discover from every nook and cranny, the bestest edge for the bestest frame possible.

So despite the template 'eye' functioning well in the template world of publications. Really, when my photographs are viewed in-depth. By a constant; a mentor, in other words. There honestly isn't much artistic value in presence. And this proves to be true when I confirm, the level of affection for a number of shoots lately... is of no comparison to what had been showflat of Boulevard Vue, or our beloved public bus shelters, just to name a few.

not all is bad though. Because this realisation only makes me (want to) strive to become bigger, better, stronger.

so it's been a while since 'recollect regroup rebalance rewhatever'. a little past bedtime now but am trying to catch a breather. today had been rather hectic albeit unproductive. the two selected sites to visit in the morning - a&a works on both facades. doesn't help when the previous week I discovered one of our really old jobs is now in the hands of DPA. nothing against them but it's a heartache. so imagine how much it sucked when I couldn't shoot proper today. FAR TOO SLOW, FAR TOO LATE, OLIVIA!

my graphic designer packed up and moved out today too. it isn't goodbye forever off you go back to the land of good coffee (among other sorts of vegetation) but here's the thing - WE CANNOT. FIND. A REPLACEMENT. who is as good as this one had been. sure, there is an abundance of GRAPHIC DESIGNERS today, any tom dick hairy mary sally can pick the 'art of designing' up. but really, to live and breathe design? that's a whole new ball game altogether. the next person in front office who is graphically aware, is yours truly. as if I am not swamped with enough work while being in the race of winning the 'external rate of change'. if the architectural director is panicking mister graphic designer of his boutique hotel has left (after having handed over a COMPLETE set of design work), I should just force-hyperventilate and drop dead

that said, PleasePleasePlease give me a shout if you know someone who'd like to take on this job.

the marketing-arm lady comes in tomorrow. goodbye graphics today hello orientate her tomorrow. make sure no tai ji happens. also nasehr checks into the luxurious dopey world of syringes and cell transfers for the next couple of weeks. that's another battle to be fighting.

past nights were spent in office til way after office hours. jalan kayu prata two nights straight over political ramblings. mad or what? surely I must have put on a couple of kilos because I feel so fucking fat. not enough rest too much food too much information. strangely enough (while feeling fat on the other hand) there is this compulsion of wanting to pat heads of certain this that persons saying DON'T STRESS. DON'T BE STRESSED OK. CHILL. coming from the corporate office, it is real saddening to hear of these happenings between studios. oh the things that go on behind closed doors

I hope I would never have to use 'supernova'

sleep

above photographs - you either love it or hate it. no in betweens!
see: flickr.com/olibia

summing up the past month - events events events! no time for blogspot nor flickr! AUGH!

Grandma of a colleague who was the only family he lived with his entire life passed on recently, while he was at reservist training. so he came back to work today and he looks a total wreck. I just feel awful bad, not only because he's a nice guy who is completely clueless about wedding ring fingers, appreciative of lunch/dinner belles, mindless work, quick with amusing retorts to questions (see conversation below), prefers chocolate and clean toilets even if it means taking the elevator up 9 storeys to get to either...... less than a month back he had gotten hold of the key to his new apartment.

So are you going to be shifting in with your girlfriend?
> If my grandma doesn't live with me where will she live?
I'm sure she will have fun being able to redecorate and furnish a new place...
> I think so too. But it's a small place... Personally I will only have fun if the space was...
(gestures to surroundings of where we were, boon's ... property)
> Well, WE would have fun anyway.

It seems home (specifically, bedroom) has become less than an ideal space to be productive in. The wet weather isn't helping, drooping eyelids lazy thoughts... one lengthy band interview is to be transcribed, couple of songs are to be learned and perfected, bills to be paid groceries and toiletries to be shopped for yet this is all there is in my head - chilling at durty nelly's (or anywhere cosy quiet uncrowded really) with Sujit Saraf's peacock throne and a good dessert+drink.

damn you lazybones!

one lesson that should have been long learned - SHOPS CLOSE ON EVE AND FIRST TWO DAYS OF CNY. if we had managed to get tickets to taiwan, I would probably be forever kept in dark, delusioned about what goes on, or better apt, the Nothing that goes on in shopping malls during chinese new year.

so last weekend saw us through a record of 6 musical/theatrical live shows, the CNY holiday arrived mid week and saw me through 7 full lengthed movies... yesterday (saturday) felt like a work day than anything else honestly, until I met with Jay and the ex-jelita days people to go laugh at sign language dancing and of course, be silly ourselves. it was a great affair, starting with supper along bukit timah road and then to muhd. sultan and then almost-breakfast supper food at lau pa sat.

well you could ask me what else went on since the 29th (seriously, a Lot) but really, all I wanna do now is to go book tickets to sweeney todd less than 12 hours away and then knock right out til noon

GO OK!!!!!!!!!!CHEAP!!!CHEAP!!!!!!! GO SPEND SOME $$!!!!!!!!!!

And so it unveils...

120108:
- brunch w/ Mom&Bro @ marche, Vivocity
- cityscape shoot w/ Reggie
130108:
- lunch w/ Chris @ CP
- birthday dinner w/ Jay+family @ Clementi
140108:
- 9am shoot @ MGS
- 4.30pm recce shoot @ C.ITE
150108:
- 2pm meeting w/ architect
- MGS shoot edits
- OT
160108:
- 7pm miguel's exhibition opening @ Jendela
- supper w/ Reg&Dicky
170108:
- dinner w/ Angeline @ Newton
180108:
- dinner w/ Fud @ Bugis
190108:
- Open house gig @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
- dinner w/ Nat @ Vivocity
200108:
- movie+dinner date w/ Jay @ town
210108:
- 10am shoot @ VJC
- OT
220108:
- VJC shoot edits
230108:
- lightkit shopping+lunch w/ Boon/Andres
- AVA/TFF gig+dinner w/ Jay @ Timbre Substation
240108:
- OT
250108:
- OT
- Chemical Hearts gig w/ Chemical Hearts @ POW
260108:
- warehouse sale @ Kaki Bukit
- Waking Up the Dead gig+supper w/ Jay @ Playden
270108:
- skating+dinner w/ Angeline @ Bishan
280108:
- 11am shoot @ C.ITE
- lunch w/ Angeline @ 6th Ave.

REGINA this should answer your queries Ü

What have I been busy with?

update on Monday afternoon when c.ITE shoot's over and done with

(don't bet on this please seeing how yours truly is Mistress of Procrastination. among other things.)
(also - reading The Sartorialist makes me wanna shop excessively. thanks lorrr nasehr grrr.)
(lastly - can I just say that I am Really proud of shivvani for doing so well in her O's)

<3

so a recent lunch batter with Pietro brought about the revival of old 'emo' (read: ENTIRELY IN NO LOGICAL RELATION TO THE CURRENT TRENDYWANKY STUPID EYELINER BLACKCRYDIE EVERYTHING RUBBISH OK AND WE BOTH AGREE.) music compilations (read: downloaded/ripped-burned) for some sharing (read: redistribution), yet to receive his end of the mix though right now I'm pretty damn contented with what I dug up from back in the day. on veryvery sentimental grounds, this particular array of music never fails to tug at my heartstrings and as tacky as this sounds, I still gotta say it - EMO MUSIC WHAT. but no really...

a good chunk of my 'prime' in teenage years (read: yes it's official - I am no longer a bloody teen, *BAWLS*) revolved around music (among other things like self destructive aggrresive skating) and that made up what had been 'life'. well it's really indescribable, just how do you put words and terms to a high enlightenment coupled with wonder and awe wow this is So worth living for sort of emotion that music brings about? YOU CANNOT because nothing, absolutely nothing is sufficiently justifiable. so that essentially got me through go-bang-the-wall school life and similar things unfavourable today.

what was, still is, held dear to my heart was the band. at present, the vocalist is pursing his studies in Malaysia (doing very well too with his current band, radio air play, the whole package) as he was unable to attain a Visa here in SG... guitarist is a busybusy working man (totally MIA), and our drummer, still around but hangs out in an almost isolated part of SG, with all respect, hard at work in school. we have not met since calbs left for Malaysia, he was really the ‘backbone’ of our band if I may say. I’m certain each of us still very much feel nostalgic, tear jerky even every now and then... how is it possible, the escape from memories attached to music?

this morning during the journey to work, the sun seemed brighter. trees seemed greener and everything else seemed of a greater saturation in colour. YES IT’S TRUE, that happens even if you listen to EMO music... in the bus, I considered the idea of a new band with pietro and others like minded, OFF BEAT DRUMMING IS THE SHIZNITZ WOOHOO. well at least it would be easier for us to go for jams, being in the same work place and all. It’s certainly not gonna replace what once had been, but definitely would make up for what has been amiss all this while <3

very first night shot with canon eos400d

of the 8 'official' shoots that I've had, the best extremity by far would be when a nap in my vehicle seemed ideal at 1AM on saturday morning while parked across from subject of shoot. traffic had been too heavy for liking then (friday late-night-out's) and it didn't clear until 2.30AM. siao or not? but honestly, night shoots are much enjoyable than day, in company of the almost absolute stillness and cool wet air. doesn't that spell bloody TRANQUIL? a trait of definite rarity in the public of Singapore streets.

in other news. lazy bug's gotten to me at work urgh DISCIPLINE, DISCIPLINE!

remember how I mentioned that I absolutely Love end of season sales

well here's what's been purchased with muchLove recently

total damage: according to my mom, I 'buy things like no need money'

what she does not know: this is merely the beginning of a horriblehorrible broke-as-hell end

edit: for khai; APTNESS HUH!:)