eh... what a bore.
woke up bout an hour and half ago and i'm still feeling sleepy!
it's been another boring day.
grew somemore mold.
haha no.
just kidding!
*yawn*
did i mention how fascinated i am, by stars ?
stars...... the ones in the sky.
it's been really cloudy these few nights.

sometimes i look up to the brightest one up there and i wonder whether if anyone else is doing the same as i am.
wonder whether if they look up, also in search for some form of guide in life....

i want a telescope and a glass ceiling.
some comfort love warmth and assurance with cherries would be nice too...

wishful thinking ?

i wonder what other galaxies hold

loads of comfort love warmth and assurance with cherries ?

there is still so much to me and the world i have yet to know
this simple life led here in this simple city with its simple people is already wearing me down
should i even allow it?
questions unanswered with so many whys to ask
a terrible need to understand
the need to discover my cause.
hello?

give me the strength.
to go on

positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive. positive.

no, i do not believe in god.

it's been a long (and boring) day
almost 5am now.
zillions of thoughts came and stayed the past 19hours i was awake.

"Being an agent for others he found easy: he felt immune from people anyway, watching them like they were through a window. Lying was easy too, as he didn't understand what truth was beyond what the naked eye took in. A dying animal caught in a gin trap, watched with intense curiousity, was nothing beyond what it was: a dying animal. Sometimes when he looked at these creatures afterwards he realised that they had been damaged, but he had no memory of how they came to be like that. He saw nothing wrong in this behaviour - it was merely an illustration of what he felt others did to him. Just as some people painted or wrote to express themselves, he destroyed things. But it took time to understand that this was his vocation.

The sad messiness of an interrupted life, the graphic evacuation of violent death, the aftermath of murder, all drew him until the scene stuck to his mind like glue, as though he had been waiting all his life to find himself in a room like this and for the discovery of such naked emotion. He needed passionately to know what could have caused this dark spill of violence, in such contrast to the bloodlessness of his own existence. He wanted to understand. He wanted to know the man who had done it and, above all, why.

He knew there was something still missing about himself and waited to discover what it was. He wondered if it mightn't connect with the sense of secrecy that pervaded his childhood, the time spent watching, waiting, hidden. He found what he was looking for in the clouded eye of a tortured man. The dumb, uncomprehending pain of the animals killed was replaced by a terrible sense of recognition in the eye of his beholder that he was facing his nemesis. Now and at the hour of death. He knew then that his destiny was destruction, killing people. Killing was something - the only thing, perhaps - he was very good at when it worked, it was accompanied by an insight so intense that it blinded in its revalation. Now and at the hour of our death. So lonely baby.

Nowhere else to go, except in deeper."

sometimes i can't see beautiful.
i need you to show me secrets
can you breathe?
so i can hear you.
say to me that
you're not leaving.
sad boy flies and comes down broken.
realise that i can't without you
cloudless blue
inside of your eyes.
it's so much clearer when i'm with you.
no where else is where i want to be.
and when you're gone
i'll always know where you are.
just think of me..
and you know that i will
think of you.

mmmmm.
had some problems with the blog earlier..
logged in and clark told me something about not being able to load my blog on a graphic browser but works fine on text browser?
my comment link has disappeared.
sent a complaint to the stupid blogheads and demanded an explanation.
it always happens.........
other blogs were loadable!

well anyway.
went for a movie (yesterday?)
lilo n stitch. it was good.. terrific. fabulous!
but one thing i almost could not stand was.
there was this bunch of girls seated right behind us and throughout the whole movie they went:
Oooooooooo he is so cuuuuuuuuuteeee!!!!!!!!!
or.
awwwwwwwwww so poooorr thinnnnnng!!!
... .. . ..
i don't know but i absolutely cannot fucking stand comments like these
they were overdoing it lah.
oh well..

met nasehr and schnyp
went for stammtisch at marche
walked about somemore
bought a rush of blood to the head!
was listening to the 4th track then i was like.. "okay i am definately getting this"
could not find finch's albums at borders though.
have not listened to the coldplay album yet.. will lap up the whole of it later during the ride to singapore poly :)

lunch with rain at sp
train ride with nasehr after programme
gonna be there by 0815
gotta be up by 0600
father's not giving me a lift.
i had better be sleeping soon... . . ..

blanket of clouds.

*yawn*